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What are some Sexual Behavior Warning Signs in Children or Adolescents you should know?

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It is not always easy to tell if child sexual abuse is happening especially if the possible abuser is another child. Remember, you are not on your own; you only need to decide that it would be helpful to have someone else look at what is going on.

Do you know someone who:

  • Takes younger children to secret places? (e.g. forts, hideouts,woods, etc.)
  • Plays “secret” games with younger children? (e.g. doctor, “pants down” games, etc.)
  • Plays games with a child that the adolescent would otherwise avoid or hate? (e.g. adolescents playing “house” with a child of five?)
  • Experience sudden wide range changes in moods or habits? (e.g. refuses to leave his or her room or expresses anger in unexpected outbursts)
  • Insists on hugging or kissing a child when the child does not want to be hugged or kissed?
  • Tells you he or she does not want to be left alone with a child?
  • Becomes anxious when he or she is told about a particular person coming to visit?
  • Focuses intense attention on or is overly interested in the physical maturing of children? (e.g. comments on or is overly interested in the developing bodies of others)
  • Uses frequent sexualized language in commonplace settings? (e.g. “I’ll stick my xxx in your mouth if you don’t…”)
  • Shows sexual materials to your children?
  • Makes obscene phone calls?
  • Shares alcohol or other drugs with younger children or teens?
  • Exposes his or her genitals to younger children?
  • Forces sex on another adolescent or child?

If you answered yes to either of the last two questions, you need to get professional help for the adolescent or the child. For a list of professionals in your area (Georgia) call 1-800-CHILDREN (1-800-244-5373)

A program of Prevent Child Abuse

Georgia

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Child Sexual Abuse Includes Touching and Non-Touching Behaviors

Touching behaviors include:

  • Touching a child’s genitals (penis,testicles,vulva,breasts, or anus) for sexual pleasure or other unnecessary reasons.
  • Making a child touch someone else’s genitals, or playing sexual (“pants down”) games.
  • Putting objects or body parts (like fingers, tongue or a penis) inside the vulva or vagina, in the mouth, or in the anus of a child for sexual pleasure or other unnecessary reason.

Non-touching behaviors include:

  • Showing pornography to a child.
  • Exposing a person’s genitals to a child.
  • Photographing a child in sexual poses.
  • Encouraging a child to watch or hear sexual acts either in person or on a video.
  • Watching a child undress or use the bathroom, often without the child’s knowledge (known as voyeurism or being a “peeping Tom”).

If you recognize any of these behaviors and do not know how to talk about these issues, or you want further information, in Georgia please call our helpline toll free at 1-800 CHILDREN (1-800-244-5373)

A Program of Prevent child abuse

Georgia

~~~~~~~~~~

http://www.elahministriesinc.com

http://www.SuesPen2Paper.com

http://www.awriterscorner.blog

http://www.cybersupportgroup.org

http://www.facebook.com/elahministries

Was it Abuse? – A Testimony

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Written by “Your Sister in Christ” – Angels by Grace Pub.  April 1997

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You know for the longest time I was in denial of what took place in my childhood. Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t block it from my mind and make believe it never happened.

Unfortunately those memories are still very vivid and when I least expect it they replay themselves. To cope with the confusion and awkward feelings though, I began to question the memories. In turn, without realizing it, I was excusing the offender’s actions.

I asked myself over and over, “Was it really abuse? I didn’t lose my virginity! Was it really abuse? I don’t think it happened that often, I can’t remember! Was it really abuse? Abuse sounds so horrible!”

Yes! It was sexual abuse! Just because my story is not as tragic as some, it does not make it insignificant. I was violated and taken advantage of as a child and scars were left.

Abuse is defined in Webster’s Dictionary as: :To maltreat; to misuse; to use with bad motives or to wrong purposes. To violate; to defile.” Well guess what? Here are the answers for the questions above; it was wrong for me to be “touched” as a child.

It does not matter whether I had lost my virginity or not. It does not matter how many times it happened, once is enough to leave scars. It matters that a child’s innocence was violated.

We need to realize that sexual abuse comes in many different ways. It’s not always a rape, or a pattern established by the offender that is repeated numerous times.

I believe the majority of women have experienced, at one time or another, some type of sexual abuse. We need to stop making excuses for our offenders. Those people who by their un-Godly actions have contributed negatively to our character.

The good news ladies and gentlemen is that in Christ we become a new creation! So, I commend you all for your courage to speak up and speak out. You are triumphant! You have reached so many, including myself.

I have begun to read this magazine (Angels by Grace) on a regular basis and your poems and stories of success are an inspiration. Continue the good work!

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FOR FURTHER INFO. ABOUT WHAT SEXUAL ABUSE IS GO TO MY POST: “What is Sexual Abuse?” 6-30-14 It’s in my archives.

http://www.elahministries.com   http://www.facebook.com/elahministries

Elah501c@bellsouth.net

Blessings to you.

What is sexual abuse?

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Gazing at the picture above many can relate to the hidden emotions behind the sad face. She has a secret that if told can bring her more pain because she’s been told it’s her fault or something bad will happen. The abuse she has suffered/is suffering may be hidden for years but the affects it leaves is shame, guilt, un-forgiveness, low self esteem, deep seeded distrust and anger, and many more emotional wounds that can last a life time.

Sexual abuse does not always include touching. Many think of sexual abuse as a sex act against an innocent child. It is that but much more. There is also non-touching behavioral types of abuse:

* Being forced to watch pornographic movies or looking at pornographic magazines and pictures.

* Being watched without your knowledge while dressing, using the bathroom, showering.

* Being photographed in sexual  or sensual poses.

* “Private parts” being exposed to you.

* Suggestive language used with innuendo’s. Asking questions about your sexuality that make you feel uncomfortable.

* Being forced to watch others in the sex act.

All of these behaviors have an affect psychologically and leave deep emotional wounds. The emotional damage goes even deeper when touching or intercourse takes place. Each child’s sensitivity is different and when a non-touching abuse occurs it can have similar affects as the touching abuse. It is never the child’s fault when any sexual abuse is perpetrated!

According to the Georgia Counsel on Child Abuse 90% of child sexual abuse victims knows and trusts the abuser. Fathers mothers, neighbors, brothers, sisters, grand parents, ministers, coaches, teachers, uncles, aunts, cousins, baby sitters. Anyone who may be in close contact with the child. That’s why we must be vigilant in protecting our kids by becoming aware. Abusers don’t wear signs and are not dressed in black lurking around the corner. Many are right in our own homes.

In ministering to many women I found they were all blamed for their abuse. The abuser always blames the victim. In many of the cases where the women told, they were blamed for the abuse by the one they revealed the abuse to. Usually the mother. In several cases, if they did tell, many were not believed and so continued to suffer. All were threatened in some way in order to keep the abuse from being exposed.

The only way to stop the abuse is to reveal it! When a victim of sexual abuse steps out of the darkness of secrecy the process of healing the deep wounding has begun. Truth and freedom cannot remain in darkness. Exposing the atrocities that have been perpetrated against us brings light. Light always overcomes darkness.

Lord I pray that eyes will be opened and ears will hear. I pray Your mercy and grace for all that have been abused and Your healing has begun. In Jesus Name. Amen.

I hope to see you next week.

If you have confidential questions/comments feel free to e-mail me at: elah501c@bellsouth.net

Assignment:

In your journal: (Ask the Lord to help you)

Write what’s going through your mind as you read this post.

List 10 positive qualities about yourself.

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Little Girl Lies

I’m all grown up now, dressed in my grown up clothes. With lipstick on my mouth, and powder on my nose.

I’ve dried and styled my hair, put mascara on my eyes. No longer do I have to live with my little girl lies.

I’m not that frightened child, submitting to forceful hands. I control my life now, my choices, not others demands.

I know it wasn’t my fault, I didn’t say it was okay. And now I can be sure no one will hurt me again that way.

Now I have the strength to face my past and realize in my heart, I really wanted to believe my little girl lies.

But now as I face the truth, acceptance has set me free. The life I live is my one chance; I am who I choose to be.

Taken from Angels by Grace April 1995 issue -Name withheld