Gazing at the picture above many can relate to the hidden emotions behind the sad face. She has a secret that if told can bring her more pain because she’s been told it’s her fault or something bad will happen. The abuse she has suffered/is suffering may be hidden for years but the affects it leaves is shame, guilt, un-forgiveness, low self esteem, deep seeded distrust and anger, and many more emotional wounds that can last a life time.
Sexual abuse does not always include touching. Many think of sexual abuse as a sex act against an innocent child. It is that but much more. There is also non-touching behavioral types of abuse:
* Being forced to watch pornographic movies or looking at pornographic magazines and pictures.
* Being watched without your knowledge while dressing, using the bathroom, showering.
* Being photographed in sexual or sensual poses.
* “Private parts” being exposed to you.
* Suggestive language used with innuendo’s. Asking questions about your sexuality that make you feel uncomfortable.
* Being forced to watch others in the sex act.
All of these behaviors have an affect psychologically and leave deep emotional wounds. The emotional damage goes even deeper when touching or intercourse takes place. Each child’s sensitivity is different and when a non-touching abuse occurs it can have similar affects as the touching abuse. It is never the child’s fault when any sexual abuse is perpetrated!
According to the Georgia Counsel on Child Abuse 90% of child sexual abuse victims knows and trusts the abuser. Fathers mothers, neighbors, brothers, sisters, grand parents, ministers, coaches, teachers, uncles, aunts, cousins, baby sitters. Anyone who may be in close contact with the child. That’s why we must be vigilant in protecting our kids by becoming aware. Abusers don’t wear signs and are not dressed in black lurking around the corner. Many are right in our own homes.
In ministering to many women I found they were all blamed for their abuse. The abuser always blames the victim. In many of the cases where the women told, they were blamed for the abuse by the one they revealed the abuse to. Usually the mother. In several cases, if they did tell, many were not believed and so continued to suffer. All were threatened in some way in order to keep the abuse from being exposed.
The only way to stop the abuse is to reveal it! When a victim of sexual abuse steps out of the darkness of secrecy the process of healing the deep wounding has begun. Truth and freedom cannot remain in darkness. Exposing the atrocities that have been perpetrated against us brings light. Light always overcomes darkness.
Lord I pray that eyes will be opened and ears will hear. I pray Your mercy and grace for all that have been abused and Your healing has begun. In Jesus Name. Amen.
I hope to see you next week.
If you have confidential questions/comments feel free to e-mail me at: firstname.lastname@example.org
In your journal: (Ask the Lord to help you)
Write what’s going through your mind as you read this post.
List 10 positive qualities about yourself.
Little Girl Lies
I’m all grown up now, dressed in my grown up clothes. With lipstick on my mouth, and powder on my nose.
I’ve dried and styled my hair, put mascara on my eyes. No longer do I have to live with my little girl lies.
I’m not that frightened child, submitting to forceful hands. I control my life now, my choices, not others demands.
I know it wasn’t my fault, I didn’t say it was okay. And now I can be sure no one will hurt me again that way.
Now I have the strength to face my past and realize in my heart, I really wanted to believe my little girl lies.
But now as I face the truth, acceptance has set me free. The life I live is my one chance; I am who I choose to be.
Taken from Angels by Grace April 1995 issue -Name withheld