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Will the REAL ME please step forward? – Multiple Personality Disorder/ D.I.D.

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“…I will rescue him; I will protect him…I will be with him in trouble. I will deliver him and honor him and show him My salvation.” Ps.91:14-16

The Lord our God said that He knows every hair on our head, that He values us more than even the birds of the air, and that He knew us before we were even born. He created us as special, as like no other, yet in His image. He knows what we will face in this life before we even leave the womb.

God has given every person defense mechanisms to help us guard against atrocities and tragedies that can happen in life. We commonly think of denial when speaking of defense mechanisms. If we deny something long enough we can actually believe it never happened. This is very common in sexual abuse cases. Of course there are many other defense mechanisms that we can/do use. One being multiple personalities.

As children many of us have created “secret friends.” Playmates that do not exist yet if asked the child will insist they exist. When the child gets tired of them or matures out of the stage of needing a “secret friend” the “friend” disappears.

How do I know these personalities are real?

Multiplicity is a defense mechanism that God gave some to be able to survive the horrific childhood abuse they are being subjected to. It is hard to believe for those with M.P.D. to consider this as a gift from God, but in reality it most definitely is! The personalities are created to protect the core child from complete insanity. They are not make believe! The child doesn’t even know they have been created until the Lord deems it time for healing to begin. They can not be wished away or out grown like a childhood “secret friend.” They are the child’s actual memories of past events. 

How do I know I’m not making this up? 

Other personalities, “Alters”, can not be created on a whim! Again, they are not “secret friends.” It is impossible to create alters without traumatic events having had occurred. There has to be extended emotional trauma, traumatic events that take place in early childhood for alters to be formed. We form our personalities between birth and age five. A child that young is not equipped emotionally to be able to handle trauma. Sexual abuse, physical abuse, emotional abuse, psychological abuse is traumatic to a child! If there is no one the child can seek help from, go to for love and comfort and safety they must deal with the trauma within themselves. They have no recourse because protection has been withheld. If his/her personality has not yet been firmly established other personalities may be the recourse the Lord uses against the abuse he/she is experiencing.

 What do the personalities do?

The main purpose is to protect the core child’s emotional stability. The core child is the child that God created, lived in the mother’s womb, and was delivered into the world. He/she was created in God’s image; to love and be loved. When abuse robs the child of being loved as God created her to be and that is replaced with severe extended abuse the personalities that are formed takes the pain, the anger, the guilt, the shame, the confusion, and all that the child is experiencing both physically and emotionally. It is as though the core child is safely hidden away and the alters take over and are living the life that the core child would live. One personality may experience the child being raped, another will experience the guilt and blame put on her by the abuser or co-conspiritor. Another may  be one who denies “Daddy did that.” It is as though there are many people in a room. Each of those people has a personality. Some may be serious, others fun loving, others studious and so on. It is the same with multiple personalities. But with this disorder each personality has a specific purpose, protect the core child in whatever way works!

My family says I’m lying. Who do I believe? 

Many families will deny the abuse as their way of not having to deal with it. Mom may have been sexually abused herself and can’t cope with what it stirs up in her. She may be an actual participant in the abuse and knows they can go to jail. The abuser most always denies his guilt. There are many reasons behind the denial of abuse happening to a child. I do not excuse any of them! There’s no excuse as far as I’m concerned for a parent to ignore a child’s cry for help. Not even, “I didn’t know.” There’s just too many signs that lead to at least suspicion of something being wrong.

PRAY. Ask the Lord to reveal the truth of your past to you. You can ask around and see if Auntie so and so knows something or if other children in the family were also being abused. Someone knows something but most of all, you know within yourself that something happened even if you do not recall the details. Seek counseling.

Can Satan create alters? 

Simply put – yes! This is common within Satanic Ritual Abuse. They are created for the purpose of creating havoc,  to carry out Satan’s purposes, (not God’s), and to destroy the child emotionally as well as physically. Let me be clear here. This does NOT mean, or imply in any way, that a Christian is possessed by the devil!  God, through His Son, Jesus Christ, is our Healer, not the devil! Satanic created alters is a whole other area that cannot be dealt with in this writing.

Can alters be influenced by demons?

Again, simply put – Yes! For the same purposes that Satanic personalities are created. “Greater is He who is in you than he who is in the world.” God enabled alters to be created to SAVE THE CHILD. Demonic influence is to DESTROY the child! Demons can pose as alters. (pretend to be an alter) Through prayer the demonic influence can be stopped! In some cases a very angry alter, an over the top kind of uncontrollable rage, is due to demonic influence. Suicidal alters are many times, if not always, being influenced by the dark side. Others may be influenced to vehemently deny the abuse has ever happened and accusations of being a liar, making it all up, name calling, etc. can come from this type of influence. Ask the Lord to put a hedge of protection around each alter and to bar any demonic influence. Expose the demon and its influence and it will leave, in Jesus name.

Why now? Why have they started coming out? 

I don’t want to speak for the Lord but probably because He has deemed it is time to face the past hurt. He did not create us to be abused or to have multiple personalities. He wants us to be all that He created us to be. That does not include a shattered and splintered psychy.

Many times people who have been sexually abused as children repress those memories. That’s a defense mechanism. Statistics have shown that those repressed memories will begin to surface around the age of 27 – 35. There are many factors or events that can trigger memories to begin to come forward. For an example, the birth of the first child. Seeing another child being abused physically. Any number of events or circumstances than begin to trigger memories.

In multiplicity cases I firmly believe it is in the Lord’s timing. The alters have done their job and it’s time for the core child, who is probably an adult now, to be brought out from hiding and begin to heal those deep wounds which will enable her to become whole and live a healthy, happy, and productive life.

Can alters communicate with each other?

Yes. Some will stay silent but others can be quite vocal. That’s why the person will at times hear arguing or “chit-chat” amongst them.

What does integration mean?

Integration is where the alter’s purpose is no longer needed by the core person and is “infused” into the core being. Some will just disappear where others will become a part of the healed core person who is now becoming one instead of remaining many. Some people I have ministered to have expressed a kind of grieving when an alter is integrated. Others have felt a slight sadness yet feel relieved because that alter has been healed of all his/her pain. One day the alter is there and the next she/he is no longer there. Integration, being healed of multiplicity, having no more alters, is the ultimate goal.  The core person may still have the talents, likes and dislikes, of some of the alters. Remember, alters are a part of the core person. It is the anger, shame, secrecy, deep seeded pain, etc. that has been healed. 

Can alters be saved? (asking Christ to be their Savior)

Yes. Alters are a part of the person. It is a very good idea to ask alters if he/she would like to ask Jesus into their heart. It may sound crazy but the more alters that “live for Christ” the better. Remember, alters are carrying the pain of the abuse. Christ is our Healer and will honor any who come to Him for healing and salvation.

The Healing Journey

The healing journey is a difficult one to put it mildly. Many fears, many tears, and many memories flow that need to be healed. No-one wants to have to accept they have been horribly abused but to be all that we were created to be the steps to wholeness must be taken. Abuse robbed the person of a whole childhood! Having multiple personalities can rob the core person of even those years of teen dances, getting married, staring into the eyes of his/her first born. Why? Because alters are the ones experiencing those first kisses, dances, wedding, and child birth. Multiple Personality Disorder saved the person from total mental collapse but wholeness will give him/her understanding and the freedom to live the rest of his/her life as the one God created for His joy and His purpose. The survivor can now fulfill his/her destiny with freedom from the past.

 “So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.” John 8:36

Please feel free to e-mail me with any confidential questions or comments:

Blessings to you.

A Testimony- Let Me Tell You A Story


After several years of depressive states, thoughts of suicide, a self image that was barely floor level, and a feeling of being totally and completely alone with years of going in and out of therapy I was sent into an abyss so dark and deep I thought I would never see the light of day ever again.

Then, what I thought was the worst happened. I was diagnosed as a multiple personality. In layman terms, I had all these “Little people” running around inside my brain. I was nuts! Or thought I was. Because so little was known about Multiples I began to devour any information I could about my disorder. I tried to prove my therapist wrong. I tried to deny it within myself. I was wrong on both counts. Everything fit! And when the “others” began to speak through me, out my mouth, I could no longer deny the truth.

The memories from the past poured forth. The horrors of a life time could not be denied, particularly when my abuser admitted it was all true. Believe me this was not an easy trip to take. I was not a Christian. I wasn’t even sure there was a God. If there was, He sure didn’t like me. At least I didn’t think so.

Then, as though I didn’t have enough to handle with all these “others.” My husband passed away. Now I knew God didn’t like me! Wrong again. I found myself before a Minister. God had just picked me up and plunked me down before His alter. I didn’t know why I was there or what was going on. But I found myself accepting Christ into my life. I was at the bottom. I was not only broken but I had nothing to live for. A dead husband and when I had started asking my family questions about my past some got rather hostile because I was exposing the abuse. I felt my only road was straight to hell with a gun at my head. (I’m very serious.)

God had other plans for me, unbeknownst to me. Within days after I was saved Christ began to reveal what really happened that caused me to be Multiple. What His truths were about it.  It not only explained the unanswered questions but shed light on why things happened. He did this over a period of time.

Over the past year my life has taken a complete turn for the better. Before, all I could think of was how I wanted to die, to be rid of these voices coming out of my mouth, how I wanted to be with the only person I felt ever loved me and now was dead. I wanted to be dead! Christ said, “NO!” He said the old me would die, but I would be healed of those wounds and made new.

I am new! I have a whole new life and that’s certainly new for me. I study and try to learn what God has been trying to get through my thick head for years, as I walked away. His path will lead you in directions that only He knows where. If you listen – If you pay attention – If you are obedient to what He tells you – If you pray from your heart and soul……………. YOU WILL BE HEALED. I was multiple and now I’m not.

Christ’s miracles are there if you ask Him. This is my true, short version, story.

Name withheld by request. – Angels by Grace – Nov. 1994


If you have confidential comments/questions feel free to e-mail me at:

Blessings to you.


Multiple Personality Disorder (M.P.D) Now called Dissociative Identity Disorder (D.I.D.)

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In the 1950’s or 60’s the book, “Three Faces of Eve” by Corbett H. Thigpen, M.D. & Harvey M. Cleckley, M.D. came out and was later made into a movie. It is the true story about a woman who had multiple personalities. It threw open the floodgates for much controversy. Is it true? She’s faking! There’s no such thing! The woman was made fun of by not only the public but well known psychiatrists.

Even today there are many psychiatrists who do not believe multiple personality disorder is a real disorder. Because these hurting patient’s hear voices in their head they are thrown in psych hospitals and deemed schizophrenic and given very potent drugs. The only problem is the drugs do not heal the patient from the shattering that has taken place within their mind. It does not heal the wounds of having been betrayed, brutalized, and shamed. Did you note I said they hear voices IN their head. That’s important.

The mind is a very delicate organ. With so much trauma and no normal way to cope the mind shatters into several parts. Drop a mirror on the floor from a height of about six feet and watch it shatter on impact. That gives a pretty accurate image of what sexual abuse to a child can do to the mind. It splinters into several parts.   images[11]

The child unknowingly creates “alters.” Many think of them as their little imaginary friends. There’s no imagination to it! It is real parts of the core person! Each “alter” has a specific purpose and hold specific memories.

Maybe one can relate in a teeny tiny way by thinking about the various roles we play. Early morning we’re Mom or Dad getting the kids off to school. The door slams, we’re suddenly the husband or wife kissing the other good-bye. Thirty minutes later we’re behind a desk giving orders to our employees. In these cases it is roles we are fulfilling. The alters have roles to fulfill also. Grab the pain, handle the experience at hand, protect the core child. In roles we are in control. With multiplicity, the alters are in control.

Schizophrenia is a chemical imbalance within the brain and can be treated with drugs. They also hear voices. When I worked with schizophrenic patients at the psych hospital I learned that in most cases the voices the schizophrenic hears is from OUTSIDE the head. The clock is talking to them, the walls are whispering, etc. With multiples the voices are strictly within the confines of their head.

Many Christian counselors think schizophrenia is demonically induced. I have no intention of getting into that debate. Schizophrenia is a mental disease. Multiplicity is an emotional disorder. Big difference! Multiplicity is a survival tool! It is a coping mechanism that saves the child because of the horrific acts done against the child. A toddler, or five year old,  cannot understand, cope, rationalize being raped (physical sexual abuse is rape) or with all the emotions involved with the ongoing atrocities. Her escape is within her.

Sexual abuse at an early age and long-standing is the main culprit. Other circumstances can cause personalities to develop but sexual abuse, ongoing, long-term, early age, is the main factor that brings about the shattering. A child develops it’s personality from birth to about 5 years old. If the child is being sexually abused during that time, if there is no escape, if there is no-one to turn to for help, if no help is given, the child turns within herself/himself to be able to cope with the horrors that are being done to her. It is a survival technique that the Lord has set in place to save this child from being totally destroyed emotionally.

Most times the child grows up without ever realizing alters have been created. Alters come in all sizes, shapes, male, female, child, teen, adult. By the time adulthood arrives hundreds of alters can be present.

The person may one day be a wild carefree party girl, the next she’s extremely shy. She can be the loving mother one minute and a woman from hell the next. She may be a secretary, teacher, preacher, or is gifted in art, music, paints. She may appear as a slob on Monday and a model from New York on Tuesday. Some will have a foreign accent, or knows a foreign language.

One indication is that the multiple’s handwriting styles change frequently. Another is one minute she needs glasses and the next her sight is perfect. She may have severe asthma and suddenly there’s no such thing. She looks in her closet and sees clothes she swears she never bought. She shows up in a hotel across the state line and has no clue how she got there. Her husband swears he told her about the boss coming for dinner and she’ll argue until she’s blue in the face that he did not tell her. Well, he didn’t tell her, he told one of her alters! This is called “switching.” One altar takes control then steps back and a different alter steps up. It’s as though there’s a room full of a wide variety of people – except there’s only one body in the room.

At some point the person may make statements such as, “I feel like I’m going crazy!” When things begin to get pretty out of control; suicidal thoughts, prolonged depression, out of control behaviors, psychiatric help is sought. Those that I have ministered to had no idea when they sought help that the core problem was sexual abuse nor did they have a clue that they had alters. They didn’t tell right away that they heard voices because that would mean, “I’m crazy as a loot and they’ll lock me away!”

In time and with much work and therapy the core person (the person God created before the abuse began) becomes aware of the alters. It’s done through a whole lot of journaling, therapy, and possibly medication. Eventually the core person can hear the alters talking and even communicate with the alters and with continued work, therapy, support, and of course Christ, healing and integration/wholeness begins to take place.

It is imperative that these hurting people not be condemned, judged, or made fun of. They are not a circus act and they are not crazy! 

If a pastor tells a victim he/she is possessed by the devil – you have just done unspeakable damage to that victim and I have absolutely nothing nice to say to you! 

These people need love, prayer, support, and therapy. It is a very long, hard, grueling journey down a path filled with pain like no-one can imagine. They will re-live that emotional pain as each alter is allowed to share what they experienced, why they were created, and how they can now help the core person.

Multiplicity is a very complicated disorder with lots of layers, twists, and turns. I have tried to put this in the simplest terms as an introduction to this devastating disorder to make people aware that it does exist, it is a reality, and it is not rare. There is so much more to it than I have dealt with here. There are several good books about this disorder. The one I have suggested below is  easy to read and covers more than I have been privy to explain here.

I have ministered to multiples, both men and women, and I have witnessed their journey to wholeness that comes by the grace of our Almighty God. He created a beautiful person with no intention of him or her being buried beneath layers of alters that were created to take the pain and experiences of the atrocities done to the innocent child.

There is hope and there is healing. You CAN become the person that God created you to be, whole!


If you have confidential questions/comments feel free to e-mail me at:

Suggested reading:

51H2A7Q05ML._AA160_[1] “More Than One”  by Terry A. Clark, M.D.

Available at

Blessings to you.