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What is Healing?

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It is atrocious what some have had done to them by those we love and are supposed to love us as Christ loves us. The stories are many and some are so horrid that they cannot be told. This is a fallen world and it is only by the Grace of God that any us that have experienced those childhood horrors have survived.

As children we were the victims of unspeakable evil but as adults we are left with the issues of guilt and shame. (along with many other issues) Guilt because we were blamed. “If you hadn’t done….” “If you had listened to me….” “I’m doing this because I love you” “I’m doing this for your own good.” “It’s our secret.” “You told! Now look what happened!” The blame comes in many forms.

I ask you this question – how is a child to defend herself/himself? We are taught that the adults are right. We are taught to obey regardless of what is being done. And yet a small child is blamed for all the evil that is being perpetrated upon his or her small body, mind, and soul. How could we defend ourselves? When we asked and was ignored, what is a child to do? When we are forced to keep silent, through threats, what can a child do?

The shame comes from what has been instilled by God in every human being; right and wrong. There is a deep sense within us that says what is being done to us at this early age is wrong! Yet we are told “we like it” or we are once again blamed is some other fashion. The perpetrator ALWAYS blames and places the guilt upon the victim! If at some point our minds are screaming to stop, go away, stop hurting me, and our body responds with pleasure we immediately feel great shame. That shame can turn to hating the body that God created. Then we feel even more shame because we could not control what God gave us. It’s a vicious cycle and can create all sorts of emotional problems.

There are many issues that we adults must overcome in order to be all that God created us to be. Unforgiveness is a big one. We want revenge! We want to hate the one/s who did this to us. We hate what they did! We want them to suffer just like we did! And yes, at times we want them to PAY!

So how do we heal from all that was done physically, emotionally, psychologically, sexually, and spiritually? How do we overcome our hatred and anger? How do we forgive when the atrocities have left such deep bleeding wounds in our heart, mind, and soul? How do we heal and what is healing?

Let me use an example here. A small dog has been beaten to an inch within its life. It has been starved, locked outside in the heat and the cold with no food or water. It has been used as a battering ram by some evil person.  Someone who devalues what God created. Someone comes along and sees the dog and rescues it. The dog is fed, watered, nurtured and loved back to life. It now looks healthy and happy. It’s filled with love and joy for the one who rescued it. But raise a fist in anger and it will shrink. It hasn’t forgotten the past.

That’s what abuse does to us. Evil entered our bedrooms (or wherever the abuse took place) and someone who devalued what God created broke us down and used us for their own sick purposes. Christ, our Rescuer, comes along and if we let Him He will nurture us and restore us but we have to trust Him. The little dog trusted his rescuer and became healthy and happy. We have to trust our Rescuer! We have to seek Him for our healing. We cannot do it alone. Like the little dog we have no hope of overcoming the abuse until our Rescuer lifts us up in His arms and says, “I love you and I’m here to help you.”

Healing is being the broken, beaten down, no hope, filled with anger and hatred and an unforgiving person to becoming the person that is not knocked to their knees with the pain of the past. Healing is confronting the issues from the past head on and not pushing them aside and walking through life like a zombie! Healing is becoming the person that can hold her head up and testify to having been abused without shame and guilt! Healing is being able to tell the world, “I was sexually abused and the Lord God Almighty brought me through it. He helped me to survive what was done to me, and I can stand here and tell you that I am NOT ASHAMED!”

It takes guts! It takes counseling! It takes fortitude to face the pain of the past! It takes perseverance! It takes a lot of prayer! It takes replacing the lies with God’s truth! It takes Christ shining His big “flashlight” within us and exposing the deep wounds! It takes learning who we are in Christ and rebuking the lies of being less than!  It takes tears of cleansing! It takes time! It takes being able to forgive! And above all – it takes walking hand in hand with Christ our Savior the full length of the path to recovering and overcoming what was done to us. It takes trusting Him for our healing!

Healing does not mean we suddenly have amnesia and the past is forgotten. We may still feel sadness or anger on occasion. What was done to us was not fair and we didn’t deserve it. We may on occasion grieve our lost childhood for a moment and we may reflect on our past but –  Healing means we are no longer crippled by our past.

Healing means that you will be able to stand tall and feel clean and whole and loved.

Take heart,” daughter,” He said, “your faith has healed you” Matthew 9:22

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Feel free to e-mail me any confidential questions or comments at: elah501c@bellsouth.net

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Blessings to you.

Adding Food to My Pain – A testimony

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Written by Robin – Angels by Grace Pub. – April 1997

Molestation, physical and mental abuse, childhood incest. I am a survivor.

From about three years old, maybe earlier, until I was eighteen years old and moved out on my own I was at the hands of some pretty messed up adults.

Throughout my twenties I tried everything from drugs and alcohol to self-inflicted abuse, to take away the deep dark terrorizing pain I felt.

The confusion of being a young adult, not to mention my past, had become almost unbearable. I tried to kill myself several times, but always unsuccessfully.  I did however find I could use food to somewhat soothe my pain. It was something I could control myself and no-one could interfere.

I saw large women who didn’t seem to be “hit on” sexually like the slimmer women did. In my mind I decided that I was going to gain weight and that would make me unappealing to men. I achieved that goal and felt safe from sexual advancements from men. That was okay, for a while.  But then my so-called solution became my problem in that I was not able to control my eating habits. Now I struggle with the issues from the past as well as struggling with my own self-inflicted abuse, overweight. I also isolated myself from others until I didn’t even know how to talk to people, nor did I feel comfortable doing so.

Life was kind of miserable and I felt it was not worth living. A friend helped me to see that it was okay to have fun and it’s okay to have problems.

I got guardianship of my five nieces and a nephew which required me to leave South Carolina and come to Georgia. I was having to start all over again and it caused me to have a very difficult time emotionally.

I made a new friend here and she helped me by talking with me and introducing me to women that I would come to feel comfortable with. She started encouraging me to take the kids to church. I did but at first it was for their sake, not mine. Little did I know that God had sent her to me so I would go to church and in turn get what He needed me to hear.

Another friend and I joined the women’s Bible study and I started learning, or I should say re-learning, that God loves me. That He has been waiting for my choice.

I started therapy and eventually joined a support group where I met Sue. She may not know how much God has used her in my life. I see what He is doing for her, through her, and with her. I also see what He can do within me and wants to do for me.

I am thirty one years old and for a year and a half now I have felt more alive than I ever have. God took me, a sinner swallowed up in darkness, and has shown me the light. He sees where you are and if you just call His name He will be there, just like that!

I have trouble feeling that He has really forgiven me. But I know that will go away in His time. My biggest problem at this time is allowing God to help me. I close up on Him, like slamming a door, and He keeps knocking. I fade out and He zones in.

I know for the first time in my life that I have Someone I can call on, day or night. Without a doubt He will be there. All you have to do is to say His name and He will come. He is on standby waiting for you to call. It doesn’t all change just like that. He sheds His light on whatever you are going through and walks you through it.

Glory to God and thanks unto Him, my Protector. I will continue to go on with the fight because He will give me victory and in turn, He has victory.

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“Whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what He has done has been done through God.” John 3:21

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elah501c@bellsouth.net

Blessings to you.

 

 

I Never Felt Loved – A Testimony

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Written by Belinda – Angels by Grace Pub. March 1997

My abuse started around the age of eight or nine, by one of my closest Uncles. This Uncle was everybody’s dream father. He helped with homework, played sports, went swimming, fishing, and so on.

My Aunt treated me as if I were her own. She took me shopping and bought me things, helped me with homework, took me to church with all its activities, and she was teaching me about believing in God. I got Baptized, too.

Because my parents always fought, would separate and then get back together, I felt my Aunt and Uncle’s home was my safe haven. There was no fighting or hitting taking place. They ate dinner together, it was like a dream home where people were family. Then my Uncle started molesting me and that’s when everything went wrong.

My relationship changed with my Aunt, it wasn’t as strong any more. I was afraid she would figure out what my Uncle was doing. I feared going to their house and was afraid to go to sleep while there, or even go to the bathroom alone.

I seemed to be afraid of a lot of things, afraid someone would look in the window, afraid my Aunt would be angry at me and not love me any more. And my Uncle seemed like he didn’t care if he was caught. Yet I felt like I was the guilty one. Knowing the abuse was wrong but being scared people would blame me.

For a year and a half my Uncle grabbed, touched me in places he shouldn’t, as well as making sexual remarks. Then my father began abusing me and that lasted until I was fourteen years old.  My father seemed like he’d turned into this evil man. I couldn’t reason with him, no amount of crying or begging helped. It was like he had no feelings.

Some of my father’s abuse took place on his boat. Hundreds of happy people walking just feet from where he was abusing me and I’d think, “Why doesn’t someone stop! Somebody come in here and help me.” When it was over I hated walking outside because I felt like everyone knew what had just happened and I felt so embarrassed.

What I really can’t understand and what really hurts me is that my mother had caught him abusing me on two separate occasions. My grandmother had also caught him and merely said, “He’ll quit.” But he didn’t. That’s when I lost all hope and faith that he would ever be stopped. He did finally stop abusing me when he and my mother divorced, but then I guess I was in “shut down.” All my survivor skills kicked in and I no longer cried, no more begging, nothing mattered. I had been an A and B student, but I no longer cared for school. I hung out with older crowds, drank, stayed out all night. I thought there was only one way for the boys to like you.

I met the man I married and I suddenly felt loved. Of course I depended on him to make me happy because I didn’t know how to be happy. Some years into the marriage I suddenly didn’t want to be left alone, not even for him to go to work. I started remembering some of the things from the past and I was so unhappy. It was like nothing could make me happy!

I refused to face the past, thinking, “All that’s in the past, it isn’t happening now.” I was in big denial that the abuse was the cause of so many of my problems. I did start seeing a counselor but I continued to feel un-loved, out of place, unhappy, and that no-one cared for me.

I couldn’t make decisions, I felt like I was just floating through life with no purpose, just waiting for it all to end. I couldn’t accept that I was going to have to face my pain and it was almost un-thinkable that I would have to do just that.

I’d tell my counselor, “I’m not angry, I’m not hurt. I feel sorry for my abusers.” Recognizing my anger was real hard for me. I felt like it was betraying my family. My family didn’t deserve any anger from me! I’ve worked on many areas of hurt in counseling. One being, I couldn’t talk about this part of my life with my husband. I didn’t want to share or for him to know I had been abused. I fought with my feelings about not telling him, yet I felt my reasons were justified. What I really felt was that he wouldn’t love me any more if he knew.

My counselor told me many times, “Go home and talk with your husband about this.” My reply was always the same, “I can’t! I’d rather jump off a bridge!” But somehow she got us to go to family counseling and its been going well.  My husband is my number one supporter.

For so long I fought the feelings that would rise up in me and felt there was no hope of ever getting past the abusive past. I felt there was just too much damage done, but I was wrong. Therapy has been very helpful.

After a while I started noticing that I paid attention when God was mentioned. I’d even catch myself praying for His help and guidance. You see, I always said, “There can’t be a God. Why would He let it happen to little girls?” Then I’d think, “Okay, He let it happen, but why make me suffer and not them?” It seemed like I was the one being punished. But then one day I realized I was angry at God. I won’t say I’m completely happy with where I am with Him now, but I’m on the right road and still learning.

I met a lady during the time I was in the hospital and she and I became very good friends. We sat up and talked all night and once when I was really upset she said, “Belinda, you know Someone has been watching over you. Because if not you probably wouldn’t be around today.” That really sticks out to me. Now when things get tough and I don’t think I can go on I ask God to please help me and guide me. Then, somehow, I get through it and the next day is a little brighter.

I feel my accomplishments have been numerous. I no longer deny my feelings (most of the time.) I can at least identify them and can put some of the shame where it belongs. My relationship with my husband and children is much better. I try to listen to myself and believe my pain does exist and it’s okay to hurt. I have hope and I’m trying to find out who “me” is.

The most difficult part of healing for me right now is my relationship with my mother. I loved her so much and I just needed her to say, “Its going to be okay.” Instead, she refuses to accept that I didn’t want the abuse or the damage that the abuse has caused. That’s very hurtful for me. I can’t pretend it didn’t happen so I struggle with feelings of guilt, fearing I’m hurting my family. They believe, “It’s all in the past, so let it go.” That makes me feel alone and that my family doesn’t love me.

I try to remember that my husband and children do care and want me to heal. I have them. I’m working on issues of my family and those losses. Letting go of that fantasy family and childhood, yet realizing “normal family” can’t be.

If someone called me on the phone and asked for my advice, I’d tell them, “Don’t deny your feelings. Things will get better and easier. Follow your heart, you deserve healing.” And I would cry for them and just let them talk until they couldn’t talk any more. And I’d let them know Someone is watching over them.

My work has been hard and I know I have only one way to go. I would choose to heal again if I had to because I’m just getting a glimpse of who I really am. I know when I am through healing I’m finally free from my childhood and its pain. My husband, children, and I can truly be happy.

I’m working very hard on my relationship with God. I am forever grateful for the people who have helped me. My husband, for standing by me and not giving up. My best friend ____, who listened and pulled the truth from me. ____for all those encouraging talks, and the work that my counselor has done. For my angels, Sue and Kay, who took the time to help and understand. I look at them and think, “It does get better. They can laugh and smile and be themselves.” So they are a big inspiration.

I’ve always thought about angels and to me it seems kind of strange that I landed at Angels Group Support Group for help, and I’m receiving it. I’m hoping for everyone to receive the healing we all deserve. Keep me in your prayers as I’ll keep you in mine.

Belinda

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Note: With Belinda’s counselor and our support Belinda pressed charges against her abuser. He pled guilty and was sent to prison.

 

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elah501c@bellsouth.net

Blessings to you.

Angels by Grace

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1994 I was facilitating a new ministry the Lord put on my heart. “The Angel Group” was a support group for women who had been sexually abused as children. It was the only Christian based support group within several counties and we had women traveling several miles to attend. The need was, and still is great.

One morning the Lord woke me up out of a sound sleep and told me, “Get up! You’re going to publish a magazine.” I had no idea how to do that but as always the Lord is faithful to walk us through whatever He calls us to do. Standing at the kitchen table with Christ beside me we put together a small outreach publication for survivors of childhood sexual abuse. All submissions were by survivors. The publication started out with only 25 mailings and by the end of four and a half years it had crossed into several states and the hands of many, from hurting survivors to professionals, pastors and everyone in between. Any time we follow the calling of the Lord and do things His way we will be successful. Over the past several months, you my readers, have read several of those submissions.

Here is a letter to the Angel Ministry, now Elah Ministries, Inc., as an example of how reaching out can bring hope, healing, and deliverance to those who are hurting. I see our blogs, yours and mine, as an outreach ministry and regardless of whether you have comments at the end of your article or not, you are touching someone.

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April 1998

Dear Angels of Angels by Grace and Angel Group:

I am a fellow “Angel” if you should call it that. Though I must confess it’s been years since I’ve felt like one. I write to you to praise, mainly because I’ve lived in this town for over ten years and your Angels by Grace magazine is the first outreach of support I’ve encountered in that time without seeking it out.

I wanted to let you know, that both witness and compassionate brothers and sisters in this healing journey that yes, you are reaching out indeed. Your magazine managed to reach its way into a secured building and guarded cell block in Douglas County jail, where myself and a handful of women have been blessed with the assurance that there are still people who care.

The other reason I wanted to send praise is on a more personal note. And actually, maybe it’s not so much praise for your work as it is a deep gratitude. I have been here a month and await my court date next week, concerning charges resulting from an addiction that I have.

The addiction in turn, results from years of traveling over, under, and around issues from eight years of sexual abuse as a child. The psychological and mental aspects of healing are nothing new to me. I’ve been through more forms of counseling than I care to disclose.

What is new to me though, is recognizing that no amount of medicine or counseling will help heal these buried hurts if I neglect to make my relationship with Jesus Christ a “constant” in that journey. I have been a born again Christian for seven years now, but oddly enough, that revelation has just occurred to me.

Receiving your magazine today made that possible by awakening a desire in me. A desire to examine my heart and surrender it to the Lord. I have realized that literally, it is too exhausting for me to carry the burdens any longer. I am now ready and willing to let God take them for me.

An added bonus, if you can call it that, is that I have taken the first step in overcoming my addiction and getting my life back on track. There is, most assuredly, a long road ahead for me. And it seems deeply overwhelming at times. I had thought, “there’s so much to do to begin really healing, make amends, forgive others, forgive myself, that I don’t know where to start.”

I do know now. I’ll start on my knees. If that doesn’t work, then I’ll try flat on my face and stomach. I’m learning to pray again and it’s wonderful. I am scared out of my wits when I think about what lies ahead. What I’ll find that I’ve been hiding away. I fear that maybe it will be to much to handle, but in my heart I know that’s just that scared little girl talking, who didn’t know Jesus.

The best part of all of this is that I’m a grown woman now, who knows and believes in Him. Satan, with all his manipulative demons, has no power here! Not in my days now.

I wanted to say to each of you that the lesson of the week for me has been to learn to take the promises of God as just that, Promises. Promises from One who would never forsake or break them. In 1Peter 5:10,11 it says, “The God of all grace, Who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will Himself perfect, establish, strengthen and restore you. To Him be the power for ever and ever.” That’s a promise!

Thank you again for sending your love, even unbeknownst, to each of us here. You are in our prayers, and I ask that if you will, would you please remember to say a word for us? There is a magnitude of hurt and bitterness here the devil himself would back away from. I know that none of it can be cleansed without the power of God. Please pray for that power. Sending much love and thanks, and may God bless and keep you.  Alice.

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elah501c@bellsouth.net

Blessings to you.

Turning Your Misery into Ministry

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Are you kidding me?! Who wants to hear about the miseries I have suffered through life? The old saying, “Misery loves company” is not always true.

“For as Christ’s sufferings overflow to us, so through Christ does our encouragement also overflow…Our hope for you is firm, for we know that as you share in the sufferings, you also share in the encouragement.” 2Cor.1:5-7

God wants to use, and will use, our misery and suffering to help others. The experiences we go through, both good and bad, can be used by the One who knows our suffering.

For many years I suffered abuse from the hands of others. I went through years of therapy and shouted at God many times, “You could have stopped it!” I didn’t understand that God could not only heal all that deep pain but use it for His glory.

Many have suffered in many different ways in this life. Some have lost a loved one. It was when my husband died that the Lord picked me up and stood me before a pastor asking Him to be my Savior. At first I thought He killed my husband to bring me to my knees. I was angry that He would do that! He understood and with love and compassion the Lord showed me He used that opportunity, my grief and suffering the loss of my loved one, to be able to empathize with others who lost a loved one. He used my experience of grieving to be able to feel their pain, to be able to cry with them, and be able to give comfort. My suffering was not going to be wasted.

Some have lost jobs, gone through a painful divorce, have had addictions, lost a child, had an abortion. Pain abounds in this world and God can use each and every experience for His purposes and His glory. I had never been to a support group for abuse victims. I had not told anyone, except my therapist, about my abuse. Suddenly the Lord said He wanted to use me to help others in their pain from abuse. For fourteen years He used my past suffering, my ability through my painful experiences, to be able to relate to, encourage, and lift others up through their pain and receive the emotional healing that God had given me. He’s still using my past experiences and those things He has taught me for His glory. This blog is one of those ways. I give Him all the praise, honor, and glory. I say, “Here I am Lord, use me.” He has and still is in many different ways. Why? Because I allow Him to!

If we will allow the Lord to use what our life experiences are He will use them in ways we never imagined. He will bring us through the pain of those experiences, teach us how to relate to others, bring hurting people into our path, and through us reach out to them in love, compassion, and understanding.

In my wildest dreams I could never imagine a reason, other than just plain out and out evil, for the hurtful things that happened to me. It’s hard to imagine God has a purpose for allowing our suffering and that He can use it for His glory. We ask so many times, “Why?” “Why did …….happen?” We may never know the reason but if we trust Him He will use it. If we look to Him He will heal our hearts and allow our suffering to help others.

What suffering have you gone through that in your heart you don’t understand how anything so hurtful can be used by God? Sit down, right now, and ask Him how He can use those life experiences. You didn’t suffer for nothing…unless you want to do nothing. Allow Him to use you because your misery can become a ministry.

 

“Find that we know that all things work together for good to them that love God.” Romans 8:28

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Blessings to you.

I will lift you up within My hands

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I used to feel like no one cared

or even had a kind word to share.

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I couldn’t understand why I was here

Is it to be used by others who have no tears?

 

All the while floating numbly in this land

Wanting to feel like others, if only I can.

 

And then one day I prayed to God,

He’ll never answer or so I thought.

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What is my purpose? The plan for me?

Or is this the way it will always be!

 

And as I stood on my porch one day

I closed my eyes and gently heard Him say,

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“My child, My precious child, I am here

I have always been so very near.

 

I was waiting for you to call to Me

And ask Me what you are needing to see.

 

Yes, I was there so long ago

And I will be here, I’ll never go.

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It will be different, be patient and see

You’ll start to live and sow My seeds.

 

So reach out with all your heart

That’s always a great place to start.

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I will lift you up within My hands

And guide you through this painful land.”

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By only asking in my simple prayer

He has taught me how to care.

 

He’s shown me love, a true Father’s love

And given me flight on the wings of doves.

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And so in closing I just want you to know

I can feel His healing oil flowing

in my heart and soul.

By Robin – Angels by Grace March 1997

~~~~~

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elah501c@bellsouth.net

Blessings to you.

Testimony – Its Still Happening Today!

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I am a thirty one year old in recovery from satanic ritual abuse as well as sexual abuse. I was born into an occult that involved my mother, father, and grandfather on my mother’s side. My grandfather was the head of the whole thing.

From the time I was born I was sexually abused and used as a “pure” sacrifice for all kinds of satanic rituals. You see in an occult world sex is praise and worship to Satan, much like our singing praise and worship to God. In the occult world when you have a child who has not been touched, much can be gained by those in charge who have the power to give “legal rights” over to the enemy, at the expense of the child of course. That’s what happened to me.

To my mother and father I was considered an experiment. My mother didn’t want to have children, but she had me for the purposes of the occult.  My grandfather died when I was four years old and that seemed to unleash all the resentment and bitterness within my mother and she turned those emotions on me, full force.

In my mothers mind she was going to put the experimental child, me, in its place. So she took me before the occult council and had them degrade me. She considered that putting me in my place on the spiritual level. “Spiritual” being of Satan.  After the meeting with the council she took me to a room and ….

…………………..I’m leaving blank due to being graphic…………………..

When I awoke and it was discovered that I was still breathing my mother assigned me a new role to take on in life. “You are not my daughter. You are my slave!” she told me firmly. “You are to do as you are told, you are not to speak, you have no opinion, and most of all you have no choices!” she continued to shout.

I have since looked up the definition of “Slave” and another word comes up, “Servitude.” Which means having no liberty to do as one pleases. It’s a lack of freedom to determine one’s course of action or way of life. To sum it up, that was me!

The funny thing is that I never took to her teachings. When my mother went from church to church, making trouble and causing chaos, I was hanging onto every word my Sunday School teacher was saying about Jesus. I accepted Jesus into my heart and He has been living there for a very long time.

I have now been in what I call hard core counseling. The Lord has been revealing to me the “legal rights” to my soul that was given to Satan by my grandfather and parents. What is awesome is that Christ has been taking back those rights from Satan. Satan no longer retains any rights over my life.

Christ has also taken me back to that room where……….(graphic)

You see, when I left that room as a slave child I left my true self behind. Christ has since placed me back in there, telling me I was to come out of that slave mentality. But in order to get out of that horrible room I had to get past the people that put me there.

I was scared to death to even face those people much less walk near them. But I decided to trust in the Lord and with His help I confronted and faced the evil. This time I put them in their place! And with that I walked out of that room holding Jesus hand.

Because of Jesus walking through those memories with me I received much release. Inner freedom just washed through me. I am no longer living with the slave mentality or playing that role. Best of all I no longer feel like a slave inside. I am so very free and I now have a sense of security within myself that no one else can give but God.

I have forgiven my mother and father but it is not necessary for me to have any kind of relationship with them. Why? Because they continue to practice devil worship to this day. I have wonderful friends, a church family, and besides, I have the most wonderful Father. My heavenly Father. And maybe some day He will even bless me with a family of my own.

It is a miracle to me that I have survived my upbringing and that I never took any interest in my parents activities or Satan worship. I worship God through His Son Jesus Christ.

Let me say that the road to recovery has been anything but smooth. With Jesus holding my hand, my willingness to face, head on, the bumps and obstacles of healing, has enabled me to overcome much. Jesus truly healed so many wounded emotions as well as my broken heart. If it weren’t for Him I would not be a survivor. It is because of His mercy, His grace, His strength, and most of all, His Name has protected me and He’s guided me through it all. God bless.

Debbie M. – Elah Publication -June 2003

Note: Debbie has since graduated college, has a Master’s degree in education and is married and has 2 children.

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Scars in life

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Some years ago on a hot summer day in South Florida a little boy decided to go for a swim in the old swimming hole behind the house. In a hurry to dive into the cool water, he ran out the back door, leaving behind shoes, socks, and shirt as he went.

He flew into the water, not realizing that as he swam toward the middle of the lake, an alligator was swimming toward the shore. His mother in the house, was looking out the window, saw the two as they got closer and closer together. In utter fear, she ran toward the water, yelling to her son as loudly as she could.

Hearing her voice, the little boy became alarmed and made a u-turn to swim to his mother. It was too late. Just as he reached her, the alligator reached him. From the dock, the mother grabbed her little boy by the arms just as the alligator snatched his legs. That began the incredible tug-of-war between the two.  The alligator was much stronger than the mother, but the mother was much too passionate to let go. A farmer happened to drive by, heard her screams, raced from the truck, took aim and shot the alligator.

Remarkably, after weeks and weeks in the hospital, the little boy survived. His legs were extremely scarred by the vicious attack of the animal. And, on his arms, were the scratches where his mother’s fingernails dug into his flesh in her effort to hang on to the son she loved.

The newspaper reporter who interviewed the boy after the trauma, asked if he would show him his scars. The boy lifted his pant legs. And then, with obvious pride, he said to the reporter, “But look at my arms. I have great scars on my arms, too. I have them because My Mom wouldn’t let go.”

You and I can identify with that little boy. We have scars, too. No, not from an alligator, but the scars of a painful past. Some of those scars are unsightly and have caused us deep regret. But, some wounds, my friend, are because God refused to let go. In the midst of your struggles, He’s been there holding on to you.

The scriptures teaches that God loves you. You are a child of God. He wants to protect you and provide for you in every way. But sometimes we foolishly wade into dangerous situations, not knowing what lies ahead. The swimming hole of life is filled with peril – and we forget that the enemy is waiting to attack. That’s when the tug-of-war begins – and if you have scars of His love on your arms be very, very grateful. He did not and will not ever let you go.

You just never know where a person is in his/her life and what they are going through. Never judge another persons scars, because you don’t know how they got them.

Ginger – Elah Publication – Aug. 2003

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Blessings to you.

A Secret Angel testimony

A Glimpse into My Journey From Victim to Overcomer

 Secret Angel

A Glimpse into My Journey From Victim to Overcomer

There are many people in this world that are victims of abuse and trying to find secret places to hide from their abusers. These include victims of emotional, verbal, physical, sexual, spiritual, or financial abuse and all have something in common—wounds caused by abuse. These victims seek places where they can feel safe. That place may be hiding somewhere physically or just withdrawn emotionally. It is during these moments of abuse when most cry out to God to protect and to rescue them.  It is also in these physical or mental hiding places, when crying out to God, that we are closest to finding that intimacy with God that gains us entrance into the ultimate hiding place—a secret hiding place in His presence.

God sees everything! He knows every wound, whether physical, emotional, or spiritual, that has been inflicted upon us. He sees these deep wounds hidden in the depths of our souls and spirits, where the human eye cannot see. He hears as victims cry out to Him even though it may be silently with not a word spoken. He knows every thought before it is completed. He knows every heart and desires for every heart to totally turn to Him and accept His Son, Jesus Christ, as our Savior. He desires that invitation from each of us to inhabit our hearts. Though most invite God to visit in times of need, it is in our total brokenness, when nothing in this world matters, that we finally reach out to God in desperation. When we truly ask Him into our hearts, not for visitation, but for habitation, He begins healing and restoration. It is in this brokenness, when we are no longer holding onto things of this world, that God can put back the pieces and crumbs of our broken or crushed lives to remake us. When we finally seek this level of intimacy with God, we can find that ultimate hiding place where God will not only protect and rescue us, but He will bring us to a new level of wholeness in Him. It is that actual place mentioned in Psalm 91 and Matthew 6, NKJV—“the secret place.”

“But you, when you pray, go into your room, and when you have shut your door, pray to your Father who is in the secret place, and your Father who sees in secret will reward you openly.” (Matthew 6:6)

“He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.” (Psalm 91:1)

Some may ask how to get to this “place”. It took me years to find it. I was one of these victims of abuse.  For years, I cried out to God secretly for help as I suffered various abuses. I would always turn to Him but then turn away when situations improved. It was not until I was totally crushed that I truly gave my heart to God. Previously, my relationship with Him was very casual. Then, in my desperation, I started seeking more of Him. I desired a deeper relationship with Him. He began revealing more about Himself and the miraculous to me. He became my Protector, like a heavenly Husband, protecting me from abuse. He allowed me to feel some things spiritually—a total peace that was not of this world and also my soul and spirit crying out from the wounds of abuse. He gave me visions and dreams with healing from my past and hope for my future. He spoke to me in miraculous ways. He flew birds directly in front of my vehicle guiding my path as I prayed for guidance.  He showed me that He is in control of everything and allowed me to see, hear, and feel things that are not possible in the natural. He gave me a glimpse into His Kingdom that I could have never imagined when hanging onto my old life. It was in my total brokenness that God was able to remake me to that new level of wholeness. I know that He protects me and guides my path as I have learned to get into that spiritual place of prayer with Him where nothing can harm me, “the secret place of the Most High.” It’s a place available to all who want more than this world can offer.

Dear Lord, draw us into a deeper relationship with You with an intimacy like a new bride. Open our spiritual ears and our spiritual eyes that we can experience Your Kingdom here on earth. We want more of You Lord. We cry out for a miraculous move of Your Spirit to rescue more victims to lead them out of their bondage. Lord, set the captives free and bring healing to the broken… in Jesus’ Mighty Name. Amen.

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by Secret Angel of The Abuse Expose’ and Secret Angel Ministry

http://www.secretangelps911.wordpress.com and http://www.secretangelministry.org

We Can Overcome!

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Healing doesn’t mean

the damage never

existed.

It means the 

damage no longer

controls our lives. 

“And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.” Ro. 12:2

 

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Blessings to you.