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New Year Blessing

Psalm 30:2 says, “Lord my God, I called to you for help, and you healed me.”

As we look forward to a new year we can know that the Lord our God is Jehovah Rapha, the Lord my Healer. He knows the deep hurt, pain, and suffering that we have experienced and will bring the deep healing we need to be able to be all that He created us to be.

As we seek His healing, through confronting the issues and better understanding of the issues we face, we kneel before Him for His miraculous and loving touch that He is oh so willing to give.

I pray His healing for your heart, mind, body, and soul in 2018. May He bless you in ways that you never dreamed possible and bring you the joy and peace that only He can give.

Blessings to each and every one of you.

Happy New Year

Sue

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Stay Strong in the Lord

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Blessings to you.

Rejoice in Him – Pen Tips

Given by the Holy Spirit – March 1998

imagesCA4VEMRH

Rejoice in Him

As the painfilled memories flow

for they are memories

not actual acts of today.

*

Rejoice in Him

When the pain swells

to tidal waves within

it is pain that is being

brought to land,

sand filters, cleans. 

*

  Rejoice in Him

for your soul is being

cleansed. And as with 

any  new cleansing

it is put back in place,

new.

*

Rejoice in Him

for He Who loves you

removes the old within

a damaged soul.

Rejoice, for He fills those

area’s that have been left

vacant of those hurtful things.

*

Rejoice in Him

for He is filling, giving of Himself

to bring you to a place

where you can

rejoice in Him.  

 

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elah501c@bellsouth.net

Blessings to you.

God Saved my Life – Testimony

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Written by Laura – Angels by Grace Pub. – Nov. 1997

A hospital in Jekyl Island was having a yearly reunion for those of us that had once been patients there. It included workshops on our recovery and was supposed to be a time of growth and renewal. I attended this reunion with the feeling that I had come far in my healing from childhood abuse. I had high expectations and when everyone was enjoying the Saturday night dance I was, too.

At some point during the dance I decided I wanted to go for a walk along the beach. The room was stuffy and I needed some fresh air. One of the men offered to walk along with me and I agreed. That was the turning point of a week-end that started out wonderful. It ended as a nightmare that I wouldn’t soon forget. I was raped.

During the rape I could do nothing to stop this man. I begged and pleaded, but nothing I said or did stopped him. I started to pray that God would save my life. When it was obvious that I could not stop this man I gave up fighting him. My hands and feet had become numb from the struggle, I gave my destiny to God.

That rape, the horrible crime against me took place three years ago. For a long time I thought, Why me? I felt God had betrayed me that night, but now I know He didn’t. I’m here today, alive. Christ did answer my prayers that night.

When I was finally able to pray about it God shed new light on that horrible night. I learned that the man who raped me had let it be known that he was going to rape someone. Anyone who he could get alone. And I just happened to be the one.

Satan was on the side of my rapist. But I had God on my side! I was put in a storm and during the test I chose God. Does God hate me because He allowed this to happen to me? No! God loves me very much. He knew that someday I would be able to share my story of that night.

As with the abuse I suffered in childhood, God brought me through it, He’s healing me, and I’m able to share that pain to help others through their’s. God wants me to tell everyone about His love and compassion. How Satan tried to destroy me but Satan’s attempts has only made me stronger in my faith.

God isn’t the one who was testing me three years ago, it was Satan! I can almost hear him saying, “What’s going to break this person?”  Satan had a plan. But my Lord and Savior also had a plan. “He who is greater in me is greater than he who is in the world.” (1John 4:4)

I know now that there is nothing I can do to change that night except to forgive my rapist. And I’m working toward that forgiveness.

Over the past three years the Lord has been showing me that He is stronger than Satan. His power is greater and I was not and will not be destroyed because of this crime.  God has helped me to overcome the anger. He has shown me that there was nothing I could have done any differently that night. That I can stop blaming myself. It was a test that I went through and my faith in Christ brought me through.

But I wonder, how many tests must you go through before you understand that God loves you very much and wants you to see and feel His love. He wants you to know that it was not He who hurt you. Be it childhood abuse or rape.

The people who hurt us as children, the man who raped me made the choice, God or Satan. The people who hurt us chose Satan’s ways, not God’s. God does not hurt His children. Man does! Man is the one who makes the decision to do right or wrong.  God knows that. He also knew that I would grow from these hurts. That He would enable me to tell my story, and to understand that He was hurting with me.

I now know that when we are sad, Christ is sad with us. He wants us to have a happy life but with no storms there is no growth. We grow, learn, stretch when things aren’t all rosie. The trials are put there to help us. It is how we deal with those trials that cause us to grow. Do we choose to remain in the pain? Do we choose to ask God to help us through the pain?

I want to close with one thing God told me to pass on. God loves you no matter what has happened to you. No matter what you have done in your life or what has been done to you, He loves you just as you are.

He is waiting to help you through whatever area of healing you need. All you have to do is ask.

~~~~~~~~~~

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elah501c@bellsouth.net

Blessings to you.

 

Gotta’ Have Faith! – Testimony

Written by Michelle – Sept. 1997 – Angels by Grace Pub.

I was diagnosed with S.L.E. (Lupus) at age thirteen. I’ve been dealing with this illness now for ten years. I’ve never really known of it to get better the whole time I’ve had it, only a little worse each time. You know I’ve heard all my life, “You’ve got to have faith or you’ll never get better.” But I just didn’t believe it.

Finally one day I got saved, I accepted Christ as my Lord and Savior. I then turned away from the old life and realized theat there was a new life out there. At first it wasn’t any different feeling within me, but I started to realize that my life was about to totally take a turn for the better.

The whole faith thing was still quoted. I still had a problem believing it. My normal reaction was,”yeah right!” This faith thing was going to make me better, but how? was what I wondered at the time. As time went on I was getting people to pray for me and still nothing was happening. I was starting to get discouraged even more.

As time continued to pass and I started asking people why God has not healed me and why it is taking Him so long to do so? In response, they’d answer, “You have to have faith” and that’s not what I wanted to hear. So I started to read more on faith and it started to become a little more clear to me.

Where I’m currently attending church the people have been praying for me and for God to heal my physical body of all sickness. I’ve been fighting to get my white blood count up to normal.. Chemotherapy has knocked it down really low. My white blood count has only been in the one thousand range the whole time I’ve been sick.

With this last chemo it was knocked down to nine hundred and this is really dangerous. Normal white count is five thousand to ten thousand. I went back to the doctor for more tests a week later and my white count had come up to about fifteen hundred, which is still low.

I then asked my church family and friends to pray for me and for the white count to come up even higher. While I was waiting for the test result I visited a good Christian friend, whom I love dearly. She laid hands on me and we prayed for God to move in my body.

I had to go back for another checkup and also see if the white counts had come up any higher. The doctor didn’t have the results but called two days later. The doctor stated that he didn’t understand what had happened, but my white count had risen to four thousand four hundred! I was thrilled! I knew it wasn’t anything the doctor had done. I knew it was something God had done in my body at that time. And that’s just it, it takes time. It is not our timing, it’s the Lord’s timing.

You have to understand I wasn’t believing to start with. Trust me, it wasn’t until I started to believe that I began to receive from God what He has to offer me in my life. So let me close with these few words, I really never understood what “faith” really was. But now I see that all I had to do was step out and trust Him and really believe that He’ll do what He says He’ll do.

To those of you who struggle with this, all you have to do is learn to really trust and start to truly believe. It does work, I’m living proof of it all. Whatever you do, never give up. Remember God’s always been there even when you thought He wasn’t. May God bless you in all that you continue to do in your lives.

White blood count                                            White blood count                    White blood count

06/20/97   0.9                                                   6/23/97   1.5                               7/7/97    4.4

In Christ – Michelle

~~~~~~~

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Blessings to you.

God’s Flashlight

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flashlight

Many people do not understand the deep soul devastation that happens when children are abused physically, emotionally, psychologically, sexually, and spiritually. Why spiritually? Because in each and every human God placed His spark within us before we were even born.  He knew us before we were conceived. (Jer.1:5) He said we are created in His image. (Gen.1:27) Mom and Dad are just the vessels He has used to bring us into this world.

The genetic makeup of a child is such that each has his own predisposition as to character and personality. How God created him can be altered through abuse because it directly affects how his character and personality will be developed. It can be nourished or devastated. Abuse attacks all that a child was meant to be. His D.N.A. will never be changed but what God created him for can and will be devastatingly changed. We were created to love and be loved, to feel joy, and enjoy life, and above all to love the Lord with all our heart, mind, and soul.

Through my own healing experiences the Lord has shown me much. I call it His big “flashlight” shining deep within my soul exposing those deep hurts, the wounds to my heart, the wounds that seared my thought processes, and so much more.

Through therapy, through much prayer, through dreams and visions He has brought healing in a variety of ways. He dug deep to expose the hurt. He dug deep to expose the falsehoods that had been told to me over and over and over again; it’s your fault, you liked it, you wanted it, you are my tool and I can do what I want with you, if you were good…, you’re worthless, the list is endless and may vary with each survivor but they all attack the personhood of the child. Instead of instilling worth and value and love, – guilt, shame, worthlessness, are being methodically and deliberately instilled in the child.

I mentioned dreams and visions because, in my recovery, the Lord would use dreams where He would reveal certain things to me. For instance, my career as a flight attendant placed me on airplanes for many years. I can relate to air travel so the Lord would use planes and hotels to get His point across. Other times He would use a person/people I knew or pets that I had.

My point is, don’t be fooled by a dream where within the dream there may be things you are familiar with. Because I was on a plane or in a hotel in a dream doesn’t mean I was just having some sort of flashback. If a dream bothers you, keeps coming to mind, or even a small portion of it, pray about it asking the Lord to show you what He is telling you. Write the dream down and then pray about it and allow the Lord to bring a deeper understanding to the wounds that He is touching. Make no assumptions about what the dream may mean. It’s easy to do that but we can miss the deeper meaning and healing.

For many years I had one dream that continually would show up without regard to anything I may have encountered that day, week, or even month. It was a small child’s hand. It appeared to belong to a two-year old child. It was always reaching out with the index finger pointing as though reaching out to touch something. I never understood and finally the Lord, after many years, revealed what it was. The Lord was leading me into the beginning stages of the healing process. Once the Lord revealed what that hand reaching out meant I have never had the dream again. He later revealed, through a vision this time, that the abuse began when I was an infant.

We can miss the magnificent healing powers of the Lord Jesus Christ by ignoring or discounting ways that He can bring about deeper healer within us. Jesus is Jehovah Rapha – The Lord that heals. (Ex. 15:26)

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Feel free to e-mail me if you have confidential questions or comments:  elah501c@bellsouth.net

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Blessings to you.

His Glory, Not Mine! – Testimony

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In 1997 I was leading a support group for women who had been sexually abused as children and also publishing the Angels by Grace Magazine. I wrote this article for that magazine for the April 1997 issue.

The healing the Lord has accomplished since this writing is staggering! It is amazing how the Lord will use our pain. There is hope for healing! Trust Him. He will bring you through. 

When I read the testimonies that are given from women and men that have endured the hurt, betrayal, and loss as children, I cry. I feel that pain so very deep inside and wonder how any of us have survived such atrocities. I thank God for the healing that He has done, and is doing  within me and so many others.

There are a couple of testimonies that have been offered for Angels by Grace that have mentioned my name. I feel so humbled that the Lord has used me to offer up His hope before others. If I had been asked about the love of God just a few short years ago I would have either snarled out some caustic answer or turned and walked away. Not knowing that Christ was working within my life I would have clenched my teeth in absolute anger at the very thought that God loved me! How dare anyone tell me what I thought were lies! God could not have loved me. He could not have died for my salvation. For you see I thought it was God who not only told my Dad to abuse, but sat beside me and laughed while it was happening! How very wrong I was. I have asked Christ for His forgiveness so many times for my ignorance of who He is and He has forgiven me every time I cry out to forgive me again.

Therapy brought me through the times when suicide was thought to be my only alternative to stop the torment of memories and the sense that nothing could stop the pain of those memories. Much to my surprise I have learned that it was not God who was sitting beside me laughing back then, but the devil himself! I have learned that God was crying the same tormented tears of hurt and pain, betrayal and loss of innocence that I cried about then, and sometimes cry about now.

These past few years Christ has shown me that He is the One who sits in the Angel Group Support Group and says the words of encouragement to those hurting souls. I know that it is Christ that these women see who offers hope and healing, who’s understanding is given because if it were really me, the human called Sue, I would probably be asking as many questions as the others in the group.

I don’t always have the answers to difficult questions, like those that we struggle with on occasion about why did He allow it to happen? Why didn’t He stop it? I, like so many others, do not have the answers. I have to believe what Christ tells us in the Bible, that He is love, that He does not sit and laugh at our pain, that He is faithful to complete the good work He started in us. And like so many others, I still hurt, I still cry, and I still run to Christ like a child running to daddy. ( A daddy that did not hurt me.)

Reading the testimonies of these healing people has humbled me before the Lord. I am amazed constantly that He would not only take my pain and use it to help others, but that He has chosen me to work through. I’m the one who could not mouth His name because of anger directed at Him. Yet, when I sit within a room praising Him, acting like I’ve got it all together, these women thank me for what they see before them, the healing that they see that has been done within me.

Please know that I am grateful to the Lord who has done the work. I am grateful that people look at me and find encouragement. But what you are seeing is Christ within me. You are seeing Christ at work through someone who continues to sin. And I thank Him every day that He is the One who heals, restores, and is the life within me.  He is the One who shows us that abuse is wrong, that we need others to encourage, that groups are a must for those of us who need a shoulder to cry on, someone who can share our deep pain and laugh with us when we jump for joy over some accomplishment or area of healing that we have found victory over.

He is the Power that lights the way and we are the lamp stands that He will use. Healing cannot be done alone. We need Christ, we need others to encourage. Even if you are still within the walls of pain you also can help others. A kind smile, a simple pat on the shoulder goes a very long way when someone feels cold inside.

Let Christ use you as His lamp stand. For it is His light that brings us through those dark and scary places. It is He that sits amongst us and tells us, “Healing is a process. Don’t give up. Hang in there. Been there-done that.” Christ is faithful to bring you through the pain. Trust Him for He is the One who is faithful and true. He’ll prove it was not He who hurt you. That it is His will for you to be all that He created you to be; loving, happy, and whole.

Now I cry tears of gratitude and love for the healing that He has done for me and for the healing that I know He will do for you.

~~~~~

http://www.elahministries.com   http://www.facebook.com/elahministries

elah501c@bellsouth.net

Blessings to you.