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Honoring Mommy & Daddy

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The Ten Commandment are given to us to protect and enhance our daily lives. A young child is taught to respect the commandments and all of the scriptures. Hopefully through, and with, the love of their parents or some other loving individual.

Many times the commandment, “Honor your mother and father” is taught by an abusive person as a means of control and manipulation. His/her distorted version of this commandment can and does cause many problems later in life for the survivor of childhood sexual abuse.

It can also distort His word for those who have been physically or emotionally abused. Particularly if that abuse was from those closest to the child, the parent.

“These are the commandments the Lord

proclaimed in a loud voice…

Honor your father and your mother

as the Lord your God has commanded you,

so that you may live long and that it

may go well with you in the land

your God is giving you.”

Duet. 5:16 

“Children, obey your parents

in the Lord, for this is right.

“Honor your father and your mother,…

that it may go well with you and

that you may enjoy long life on the earth.”

Eph. 6:1-3

“Honor your father and mother” must be looked at more closely for those of us who have difficulty with that commandment.  Look at the Ephesians 6 verse closely. There is one key phrase that needs clarifying. “In the Lord.” What does that mean? Simply put, “In the Lord” means in accordance with God’s commands! If this phrase was not there, specifically telling us that we are to obey and honor as Christ would have us do, there would be no holds barred, no boundaries.

God placed the innocent child in the charge of adults and told them specifically how they should raise this child. Your parents, be it biological, adoptive, grandparents, foster parents, or step-parents are directly responsible to God for your well-being; physical, emotional, spiritual. All of these people are intended to be agents of God’s love and protection.

As adults we have the responsibility to keep children from harms way. We have very specific, clear-cut guidelines that the Lord put in place to show us how to do that. One of those is:

“No-one is to approach any close relative

to have sexual relations. I am the Lord.”

Leviticus 18:6

The verses continue on to specify mother, father, aunt, uncle, grandparents, sisters, brothers, in-laws, step children, and so on. (See Lev. 18) You can’t get any clearer than that!

If you were abused by a relative, that sin is not only a sin against you but against God.  If your abuser was not a relative he/she has still sinned against God and will also pay accordingly.

“Whoever welcomes a little child like

this in My name welcomes Me,

But if anyone causes one of these

little one’s who believe in Me to sin,

it will be better for him to have a

millstone hung around his neck

and to be drowned in the

depths of the sea.”

Matthew 18:5 

You will notice He does not specify “Dad welcomes…” or “Mother welcomes…,” or for that matter “Uncle welcomes…” He says, “Anyone causes…”

As adults Father God gives us the absolute responsibility to not harm; physically, sexually, emotionally, or spiritually the children in our society.

“…your Father in heaven is not

willing that ANY of these

little ones should be lost.

Matthew 18:14

As adults within our society our status is looked upon as authority to the child. It makes no difference if the child is ours or someone else’s. Tell a child that you have never met before to sit in the swing properly, for example. That child will more than likely not question your authority. He/she will promptly take the proper sitting position. (At least that’s how it was when I was growing up.)

Our responsibility as being older than the child is to look out for the well-being of those younger. Parents, neighbors, or strangers have this responsibility. Would you stand by as a child played on a railroad track, seeing the train approaching from the distance? Of course not! That is part of the responsibility that we carry. That the Lord Jesus gave to us.

“These commandments that I give you

(everyone) are to be put upon your hearts.

Impress them on your children…

tie them as symbols upon your hands

and bind them on your foreheads.”

Duet. 6: 6-9

 In other words, the Lord is telling us that we are to eat, drink, walk, talk, speak, teach, and be as Christ-like as humanly possible. We are to be a Christ-like example to others. Especially children.

“Train a child in the way

he should go, and when

he is old he will not

turn from it.”

Proverbs 22:6

“Train a child…” We are all a part of the training of children. Even if we do not have children we are to be a Christ-like example to them.

What about honoring?” Honor your father and mother.” The Greek word for honor is TIUAW, which means, “acknowledge the status of.” Another form of the Greek word for honor is TIUN,NS, which means  “respect, recognition.”

We show respect and recognize the status of our elders, be it parents or others. By the child, in the example used earlier, sitting properly in the swing, respect for that elder is being shown. By acknowledging that authority there was no argument. The child promptly sat properly.

By the very act of recognizing the older person’s position we are honoring that person. The Lord said, “honor your father and mother.” We do! by recognizing their position as our parents, by obeying their commands; right or wrong. If they demanded we do something, as a child, we obeyed because of their position and authority.

Throughout scripture we will find directives, to parents in particular.

“Fathers do not embitter your children,

or they will become discouraged.”

Col. 3:21

“For I have chosen him, so that he

will direct his children and his household

after him to keep the way of the Lord

by doing what is right and just…”

Gen. 18:19

“Fathers, do not exasperate

(do not nag or arbitrarily assert authority)

your children; instead, bring them up

in training and instruction

of the Lord…”

Col. 3:19-20

“Husbands, love your wives

and do not be harsh to them.

Children, obey your parents

in everything,

for this pleases the Lord…”

Col. 3:19-20

This last verse can show us, in my opinion, that by doing what we were told, (as though we had a choice!) we pleased the Lord as His command says. It was our abuser(s) who chose to break the commandments of our Lord.

“…choose for yourselves this day

whom you will serve…”

Joshua 24:15

Obviously, our abuser(s) chose not to serve the Father in heaven. When we were told, “It’s our secret” or some derivative of that, our abuser was admitting his/her guilt. He/she was keeping us silent so that he/she would not be found guilty of the sin that he/she chose to commit against you and against Christ.

“…assemble the people before Me

to hear My words so that they

may learn to revere Me as long as

they live in the land and may teach

them to their children.”

Duet.4:10 

The lessons that we were being taught through the abusive actions of others were not in keeping with what Christ said for people to do. If His truths and His commandments were being taught in a Christ-like manner, which means that we have the life of Christ within us and the power of the Holy Spirit, we would never have experienced the pain that was inflicted upon our innocent souls.

We would not now have a distortion within our inner being, a bad taste in our mouth, and there would be no hesitation to even speak the words, “Honor your father and mother.”

We must also keep in mind that another of His commandments tells us to love one another. We must learn to love one another as Christ loves us. Forgiveness is tough! But, through the Holy Spirit within us, we can forgive those who taught us the wrong connotation of “Honor your father and mother.”

“May my vindication come from you;

May your eyes see what is right.”

Psalm 17:2 

~~~~~

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Blessings to you.

 

Why God Allows Your Pain

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Wishing I was the Wind – Testimony

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Wishing I was the wind

Remember back in 1956 the song “The Wayward Wind?” I loved that song! Okay, so some of you weren’t even born at that time and I’m aging myself. But that’s okay.

I remember sitting on the school bus, alone on the leather seat, looking out the window, and feeling totally alone. The words of the song would play through my mind and oh how I wished I could be that wind. How I wished I could just blow across the land and not have to encounter the abuse at home. As the wind, I could go wherever I wanted. I could be strong, so strong I could blow over houses or gently tilt a flower low to the ground. As the wind I would have the power to move mountains or ripple a stream.

I wasn’t living next to railroad tracts, as depicted in the song. I wasn’t grieving the loss of a lost lover. I was grieving a lost childhood. I was grieving the lack of love from a dysfunctional family. “Raise a child in the ways it is to go” wasn’t even thought about. I was being taught all the wrong things about who I was and who I would be. I was taught guilt, shame, anger, frustration, and filled with emptiness. I was taught what I was worth – nothing!

Sadly many people’s perception of their self worth derives from many different circumstances, people, society, families, jobs, how many friends we have/don’t have, etc. For me, actions speak louder than words. Don’t tell me you love me while choking me or punching me. Someone’s actions can relay a message of worth. We all know “that look” from Mom, Dad, husband, or wife.

If we claim our worth by how much money we have/ don’t have, our position at work/ executive or janitor, our weight/ to fat or to skinny, race, beautiful or ugly, harsh words or negative actions, or status in life we are being deceived. Magazines and T.V. commercials all have a message that we’re not good enough.

I remember when I confronted my Dad about the years of abuse, I’ll never forget his words. “You were my tool.” I don’t think anything he could have ever said that could have hurt more. You see he was a diesel mechanic. He had hundreds of tools. All shapes, all sizes. All had a specific purpose. They were placed in a big bright red tool box, inanimate objects that he used and put aside until needed the next time. Their only value was deemed in what they could be used for. images[2]

“You were my tool.” Little did I know that perceived self worth was established way back in the early years of my childhood. In my case it was, “Your good for only one thing.”

It was when I became a child of God that I learned God saw me worth more than a ten dollar screw driver or a fifteen dollar pair of pliers. He saw me as more than a vessel for sex or a punching bag. I was so valuable, “more than silver or gold,” that He adopted me as His daughter! His Son died on the cross that I might have life more abundant, forgiveness of my sins, and that I could spend eternity with Him.

My Dad saw me as a tool, to be used and thrown to the side until needed at another time. God saw me as a precious child who needed a Father. imagesCA7OM3L4

I was received and valued by Christ “…with the precious blood of Christ as a lamb without blemish and without spot.” 1Peter 1:19

Our worth does not come from others, positions, status, or world worth. Our worth is based upon what God created. If He didn’t think we were worth creating He would not have created us! He would not have come to earth as a man, Jesus, to save us from an eternity in hell. He would not seek us out as a lost sheep and carry us back into the fold to love and protect us.

If you had been the only human being on the face of the earth He still would have gone to the cross for you. That’s how valuable you are to Him!

Don’t sell yourself short of how valuable you are. Your alcoholic mother, drug buddies, abusive father, parent that abandoned you did not determine your worth! God and God alone is the only one who determines our value. God see’s you valuable enough to die for you and adopt you as His child. “For you are all sons (daughters) of God through faith in Christ Jesus.” Gal. 3:26

~~~~~

“And because you are sons, (daughters) God has sent forth the Spirit of His Son into your hearts, crying out, “Abba, Father!” Therefore you are no longer a slave but a son, and if a son, then an heir of God through Christ.” Gal. 4:6-7

* note: I added (daughters) so no-one feels left out.

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Blessings to you.

 

AMEN!

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A Fist Raised in Anger

11342215-a-man-angry-over-the-whole-world-is-screamingIn going through some of what the Lord has spoken to me through the years I ran across one writing from last year and it made me think about how we get so angry at God and tend to blame Him for those things that have hurt us or things that have gone wrong in decisions we have made.

For many years I blamed God for not stopping the abuse I suffered from my family and later for an abusive marriage and, just to be honest, for a lot of things. The abuse I suffered within my family was not my fault, I thought God was supposed to stop it. He’s all-powerful so how come He let it continue for years?

I didn’t need the Lord in choosing my first husband! I had decided the man was good-looking, I was twenty-seven years old and ready to settle down, and this guy was fun to be around. I learned very quickly after the “I do’s” that he was an alcoholic, a womanizer, and wife beater. That may not have been the man the Lord wanted me to marry so why didn’t He say, “Stop! Don’t marry him!” Maybe He kept quiet because my anger slammed that door in His face and the fist was raised and maybe He had and I ignored Him.

I am convinced that those that vehemently claim to be atheist’s have turned their back on God because of hurt, rejection, abuse, or something else that happened early on or at some time in their life that they felt God should not have allowed. The fist flies up and suddenly “there is no God!” They have rejected the all-powerful One and have deemed themselves god. They claim there is no God yet their god is Satan.

We can blame God for those things that are not our fault and blame God for the poor choices we make. Some have felt “led” to do something, thinking God is the One leading them only to learn later it was either our own soul or the enemy that was in the lead and yet we blame God. “If it wasn’t you, God, then why didn’t you stop me? You knew it was going to turn out like this.” or “You knew what they were going to do and yet you said…..”

We humans, some of us anyway, are quick to shake our fists at God instead of focusing on His will and trusting that even if we mess up He is there to bring us through. He knows what we are going to do, think, and say before we even do, think, or say anything! His love is so great, His grace so abundant that maybe, just maybe He lets us make the mistakes so we will eventually learn to turn to Him about all things. Some of us have to learn the hard way and I’m more than sure, being one of those, that the Lord is more than willing to let us have our own way. And in having our own way, not seeking or following God’s will we have allowed the enemy access.

So let me share His words that I found that caused all this deep thinking:

“The Almighty God which art in heaven sees all that is within heaven and earth and even beneath the earth. His Grace is poured out for all who will accept it yet there are those who refuse and will even blasphemy His name. Those who love Him have the assurance of an eternal home with Him and those who reject Him shall see the fires of hell for all of time and beyond.

God’s love goes beyond human understanding and it is a shame that although He gave His only begotten Son for the sins of all mankind they reject that shed blood. It is a shame that the enemy of God has such powerful influence in men. It is a shame that so many have turned fists to heaven and swear by their own gods. Their god is self. If they refuse the Son of God there is only one alternative and he has been on the prowl more so now than ever before because he knows his time is short.

Those who follow the Son of God must stand strong and bold. They must watch for the ploys of the enemy and not be sucker-bunched by those who follow the enemy. For if they do not follow God through His Son Jesus Christ they are following Satan. They may not realize their self-righteous attitudes are those coming from Satan but they are. I pray to My Father that all will see My light and that none should perish. I come to the Father with love for all even though they reject and defy Me.

My children, you must be strong. You must focus on Me day and night for the times are about to change and things are not as they have been. My strength I give you if you will follow in My footsteps and let Me lead you through the turmoil. Trust Me as you have never done before. Pray for the lost but do not compromise My truth for any. Many shall belittle. Many shall call you atrocious names and throw the fiery darts so as to turn you from Me. That is the fiery darts of the enemy. Put on your armor and stand firm!
I am the Almighty I Am. Go with my love, joy and peace for I am with you.”
Given by the Holy Spirit 8-7-15

~~~~~

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Blessings to you.

Gotta’ Have Faith! – Testimony

Written by Michelle – Sept. 1997 – Angels by Grace Pub.

I was diagnosed with S.L.E. (Lupus) at age thirteen. I’ve been dealing with this illness now for ten years. I’ve never really known of it to get better the whole time I’ve had it, only a little worse each time. You know I’ve heard all my life, “You’ve got to have faith or you’ll never get better.” But I just didn’t believe it.

Finally one day I got saved, I accepted Christ as my Lord and Savior. I then turned away from the old life and realized theat there was a new life out there. At first it wasn’t any different feeling within me, but I started to realize that my life was about to totally take a turn for the better.

The whole faith thing was still quoted. I still had a problem believing it. My normal reaction was,”yeah right!” This faith thing was going to make me better, but how? was what I wondered at the time. As time went on I was getting people to pray for me and still nothing was happening. I was starting to get discouraged even more.

As time continued to pass and I started asking people why God has not healed me and why it is taking Him so long to do so? In response, they’d answer, “You have to have faith” and that’s not what I wanted to hear. So I started to read more on faith and it started to become a little more clear to me.

Where I’m currently attending church the people have been praying for me and for God to heal my physical body of all sickness. I’ve been fighting to get my white blood count up to normal.. Chemotherapy has knocked it down really low. My white blood count has only been in the one thousand range the whole time I’ve been sick.

With this last chemo it was knocked down to nine hundred and this is really dangerous. Normal white count is five thousand to ten thousand. I went back to the doctor for more tests a week later and my white count had come up to about fifteen hundred, which is still low.

I then asked my church family and friends to pray for me and for the white count to come up even higher. While I was waiting for the test result I visited a good Christian friend, whom I love dearly. She laid hands on me and we prayed for God to move in my body.

I had to go back for another checkup and also see if the white counts had come up any higher. The doctor didn’t have the results but called two days later. The doctor stated that he didn’t understand what had happened, but my white count had risen to four thousand four hundred! I was thrilled! I knew it wasn’t anything the doctor had done. I knew it was something God had done in my body at that time. And that’s just it, it takes time. It is not our timing, it’s the Lord’s timing.

You have to understand I wasn’t believing to start with. Trust me, it wasn’t until I started to believe that I began to receive from God what He has to offer me in my life. So let me close with these few words, I really never understood what “faith” really was. But now I see that all I had to do was step out and trust Him and really believe that He’ll do what He says He’ll do.

To those of you who struggle with this, all you have to do is learn to really trust and start to truly believe. It does work, I’m living proof of it all. Whatever you do, never give up. Remember God’s always been there even when you thought He wasn’t. May God bless you in all that you continue to do in your lives.

White blood count                                            White blood count                    White blood count

06/20/97   0.9                                                   6/23/97   1.5                               7/7/97    4.4

In Christ – Michelle

~~~~~~~

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Blessings to you.

When God Speaks, Listen.

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Written by Charlie – Angels by Grace Pub. – March 1997

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When I was young I sought God. I asked God,

 “Why do you not speak to me? Other’s

say you speak to them, and they are no

better than I!

Sure I know right from wrong,

yet sometimes I do the wrong. But

I don’t hurt anyone.

My friends don’t like me! But then,

I don’t need them anyway. My family just

wants me to do what they say. But who

are they to tell me what to do!”

Then a still small voice inside of me said,

“I’ve spoken to you many times. Yet

many times you refused to listen.

I’ve sent angels to protect you,

in times when you were alone and

afraid.

I also sent you friends that you

turned away! They didn’t ‘fit in.’

I’ve had your mother and all your

family tell you the right things

to do.

How can you hear Me when you will

not hear what those who love you

have to say?

The truth is, if you would listen,

you would hear My voice in so

many ways.”

Then God spoke once more. And I listened when He said,

“Be still and know that I am God.”

~~~~~~~

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Blessings to you.