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Tag Archives: Child abuse

God’s Flashlight

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Many people do not understand the deep soul devastation that happens when children are abused physically, emotionally, psychologically, sexually, and spiritually. Why spiritually? Because in each and every human God placed His spark within us before we were even born.  He knew us before we were conceived. (Jer.1:5) He said we are created in His image. (Gen.1:27) Mom and Dad are just the vessels He has used to bring us into this world.

The genetic makeup of a child is such that each has his own predisposition as to character and personality. How God created him can be altered through abuse because it directly affects how his character and personality will be developed. It can be nourished or devastated. Abuse attacks all that a child was meant to be. His D.N.A. will never be changed but what God created him for can and will be devastatingly changed. We were created to love and be loved, to feel joy, and enjoy life, and above all to love the Lord with all our heart, mind, and soul.

Through my own healing experiences the Lord has shown me much. I call it His big “flashlight” shining deep within my soul exposing those deep hurts, the wounds to my heart, the wounds that seared my thought processes, and so much more.

Through therapy, through much prayer, through dreams and visions He has brought healing in a variety of ways. He dug deep to expose the hurt. He dug deep to expose the falsehoods that had been told to me over and over and over again; it’s your fault, you liked it, you wanted it, you are my tool and I can do what I want with you, if you were good…, you’re worthless, the list is endless and may vary with each survivor but they all attack the personhood of the child. Instead of instilling worth and value and love, – guilt, shame, worthlessness, are being methodically and deliberately instilled in the child.

I mentioned dreams and visions because, in my recovery, the Lord would use dreams where He would reveal certain things to me. For instance, my career as a flight attendant placed me on airplanes for many years. I can relate to air travel so the Lord would use planes and hotels to get His point across. Other times He would use a person/people I knew or pets that I had.

My point is, don’t be fooled by a dream where within the dream there may be things you are familiar with. Because I was on a plane or in a hotel in a dream doesn’t mean I was just having some sort of flashback. If a dream bothers you, keeps coming to mind, or even a small portion of it, pray about it asking the Lord to show you what He is telling you. Write the dream down and then pray about it and allow the Lord to bring a deeper understanding to the wounds that He is touching. Make no assumptions about what the dream may mean. It’s easy to do that but we can miss the deeper meaning and healing.

For many years I had one dream that continually would show up without regard to anything I may have encountered that day, week, or even month. It was a small child’s hand. It appeared to belong to a two-year old child. It was always reaching out with the index finger pointing as though reaching out to touch something. I never understood and finally the Lord, after many years, revealed what it was. The Lord was leading me into the beginning stages of the healing process. Once the Lord revealed what that hand reaching out meant I have never had the dream again. He later revealed, through a vision this time, that the abuse began when I was an infant.

We can miss the magnificent healing powers of the Lord Jesus Christ by ignoring or discounting ways that He can bring about deeper healer within us. Jesus is Jehovah Rapha – The Lord that heals. (Ex. 15:26)

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Blessings to you.

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Stand Guard – But they didn’t!

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Psalm 25 is a plea for the Lord to guard, protect, forgive, and a statement of repentance.

As a child I went to others when I was being hurt by someone I trusted with my very life. I begged for protection and asked that this person stand guard over me so I would not be harmed any more.

Because of our human nature we do not always understand the voice of our children. I asked to be protected, that this person intercede because I was too small to defend myself, yet I was not heard.

I asked this person to stand guard, to be my knight and to do the battle that I could not. My life was in the hands of others. That’s the way God intended when He placed me within my family. Each parent was to be as a sentry at the gate of my heart. To love me as their child and to make sure I was safe from harm.

As a parent, each has the responsibility given to them by God to raise a child with fear (reverance) of God Almighty. To teach them to love God as well as others, and to be an example of what His love is.

Because they each had chosen a different path than the one that Christ had lain out, this child was not taught what Christ’s love is. This child was not taught that to forgive means that we leave the punishment, the judgment, and the retributions up to the Almighty.

To ask a person that does not know Christ what it means to repent would be like asking someone to explain a passage in the Bible that has never read the Bible.

To repent, is telling the Lord that I will turn away from whatever sin I have just told Him about, that I have confessed to God. To repent, does not mean I will never do that again. It means that I will change my thinking or actions. It means that I realize that those thoughts or actions are not what Christ wishes me to have or to do, so, I will do my humanly best to change. I will do my humanly best to be more like, act more like, think more like Christ does.

With the past filled with abusive acts I must forgive those who inflicted the wounds. I must try to see them as Christ see’s them. That is not easy nor is it possible if I have a heart that is filled with bitterness and hurt.

As long as the wounds from the past are still oozing their poisons we are not able to think about forgiving and as long as we are not able to forgive how then can we repent?

How can I think as Christ does if my heart is filled with anger, frustration, and hatred instead of love? How can I change my present pattern of thinking and acting if I don’t trust even God who created me to love, to love Him as well as others?

In Psalm 25 David is pleading with the Lord to show him how. He is telling the Lord that he is unable to do these things without the Lord’s help and guidance. He’s telling God he wants to change, he wants to repent and asking God to forgive him of his ungodly ways.

How can I ask God to help me if I am mad as the dicken’s at God? If I’m mad at my parent’s, at myself, at the world and at God, whom I feel has forsaken me, I can’t very well forgive my parents, myself, the world, or even God.

When we are mad we are not in love. And when we do not love we cannot repent, for God is love. Remember, repenting is to be more like Christ. How then will I even want to be more like Christ if I blame Him for the abuse I suffered from humans?

Humans are not perfect. They are going to fail a little, a lot, miserably. God doesn’t! Because we are conditioned by external things we look to humans and expect all of our needs to be met. Humans can not do that. God can!

For Christ to be a viable part of our heart we must remove those things that crowd Him out; the anger, the bitterness, those thoughts of “they don’t deserve”. All those areas that prevent us from experiencing love must go.

As David cried out unto the Lord, “To You, O’Lord, I lift up my soul; in You I trust, O’ my God. Do not let me be put to shame, nor let my enemies triumph over me…” (v1-2) so must we put our trust in the Lord. So must we give Him our soul.

For it is our soul and spirit that abuse has hurt. And as long as our heart is filled with hurt, guilt, shame, fear, hatred, and bitterness, our enemies are still triumphet! And it is that triumph over us that is our shame.

How then do we become triumphet over the wounds from our past? How do we defeat the enemy that holds us in bondage?

We do as David and many, many others – we cry out to the Lord. God loves each of us. It is His perfect love that delivers us. It is He who created us to love and be loved that we can reach out to and be heard.

“Teach me Thy way, O’ Lord.”

Psalm 86:11

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elah501c@bellsouth.net

Blessings to you.

Little Girl

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I was a little girl 

at an innocent age,

Tormented by your sick 

and controlling rage.

*

You took my spirit,

my childhood,

and nearly my life,

Treated me not as your daughter,

but as your wife.

*

I needed attention,

but the kind you gave,

Turned me into

a prisoner

and made me a slave.

*

To protect my family,

I kept quiet and lied,

While everyday

a part of me died.

*

The little girl

went away,

she will never be found.

And this big girl

now stands on shaky ground.

*

The demons are chasing,

they’re closing in fast,

I’m starting to wonder

how long it will last.

*

Hurt and anger,

that’s all I feel.

Staying alive is a battle,

no longer a thrill.

*

Will there ever be peace

that I call my own?

Will there ever be a place

that I can call home?

*

I’m begging you now

as I begged you before,

Please go away,

Please hurt me no more.

Written by Cindy – Angels by Grace – June 1998

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Blessings to you

A PICTURE IS WORTH 1000 WORDS.

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PLEASE GO TO http://www.suespen2paper.com FOR THIS ARTICLE AND PICTURES.

I APOLOGIZE THAT THERE HAS BEEN AN ERROR IN THE REBLOGGING OF THIS POST.

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