RSS Feed

Tag Archives: Bondage

I’ve Been Set Free, But…

Posted on

So many years ago there was so much hurt and pain. The years of childhood were not happy ones and even though we go through many years of hard-core therapy to overcome those memories we can still be plagued by them.

How do we deal with the flashbacks, the times when we jerk straight up in bed awakened by a dream so real it feels like we’re reliving the event? Do we ignore what the Lord may be showing us through a dream? Do we assume it is a nightmare the devil is taunting us with? Do we wipe the sweat off our brow and finally go back to sleep ignoring it?

Several years have been spent reliving the traumatic events of an abusive childhood, the emotional attacks as well as the physical attacks. Child abuse leaves wounds to our hearts that seems to penetrate to the very cells of our bodies. God, with all His infinite wisdom, knows our past, our present, and our future.

He came that we may enjoy life. He came to give us the freedom to live an abundant life. Abundance does not mean just finances. It means freedom from pain and suffering.  It means that we do not have to live with memories of terror that leave us screaming, crying, and wanting to end it all. It means that He has given us a way to break the chains that bind us to our abuser/s.

Even after many years of therapy we will still remember the events that caused us so much pain. God does not give us amnesia so we never remember again. We can wallow in those memories and relive the pain, hold on to the anger that follows, let the bitterness turn our hearts to stone or we can sever the ties that bind us to them. If we do not sever those ties our abuser is still controlling us!

In Matthew 18:21,22 Peter came to the Lord and said, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?”  When we have those dreams, when we suddenly find an event that caused us so much pain come throbbing through our brain, or words that the abuser growled in our ear, isn’t that much like the sin is being perpetrated again? It feels like it.

But what did Jesus tell Peter? Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.” This is what breaks the ties that the devil is using to keep us bound! Every time a mental image comes of the abusive act say out loud, “I forgive (name the person) for (say what he/she did to you) in Jesus name. Satan hates forgiveness! You are naming the event that has been brought to mind.

In the case of an abuser’s hateful words being replayed, we do not have to tolerate the devil harassing us with hurtful statements from the past! When the devil starts spouting how horrible I am or how I’m nothing I say the 4 words that Michael said to Satan, “The Lord rebuke you!” (Jude 1:9)

The Lord forgives us and says He will not forgive us our sin if we do not forgive others theirs. Saying a prayer of forgiveness for something horrendous that was done to us does not cover all time! It isn’t like a one size fits all. We are to forgive over and over and over again if that is what is needed, and many times that is exactly what is needed!

Every dream, every memory, every mental picture, comes from either the Lord, to show us something important that He wants to bring to our attention or heal, the devil to taunt us and keep us in pain, or ourselves because we haven’t healed. Regardless of who, what, or where the memory comes from if we announce out loud “I forgive….” we benefit! The abusers hateful words being slammed into our memory you can bet comes from the devil. Rebuke him in Jesus name!

I’ve done this many, many times and it stops the enemy in his tracks! The Lord does not taunt us with painful memories! In my experience, if it is the Lord, He has done it through dreams, not nightmares, but dreams that will leave me wondering what He is trying to show me. Occasionally it will be a mental picture. I do not ignore either. I told the Lord one time after forgiving my abuser for what he did that came to mind, “I don’t feel that in my heart.” I learned that we speak it out and in time it will enter and come from our heart.

We are not only set free from the deep wounds to our soul and spirit from an abusive childhood or an abusive relationship but we are given a tool to use against the memories that on occasion jump up unexpectantly. We have been healed and no longer have to live in emotional torment. That does not mean we will never have to revisit some of those events but a revisit does not mean living it! You have been set free or you are being set free. Walk in that freedom!

“Whom the Lord sets free is free indeed.” Jn. 8:36

http://www.elahminstires.com   http://www.facebook.com/elahministries

elah501c@bellsouth.net

Blessings to you.

 

Advertisements

Held in bondage by being silent

Posted on

imagesCAEYZCOU

So many times we do not have the opportunity to tell someone that we love them, we forgive them for all the hurt they have caused us or what we’re going through.  We have thoughts that we’ve never put into words. Regardless of whether they hear us or not we still have an opportunity to say the things we want to say.

When my husband was sick and dying I had every opportunity to tell him those things that I felt in my heart, and I did. In my post, “Confronting your abuser” I tell how I was given the opportunity to confront my Dad about the years of abuse he inflicted upon me. But what if we can’t tell the person, our abuser, what we would really like to say? The hurt and anger, the consequences from their actions, the sorrow that they have caused. What if they don’t care what we think? What if they’re thousands of miles away on a desert island with no means of contact or dead? What if we’re just afraid to say the things that we always wanted to say?

My first husband was a wife beater, an alcoholic, and a womanizer. When he was killed (I didn’t do it) I went back to the grave yard alone and sat looking at his tombstone. I cried, I screamed, I laughed, and I told him all the ways he had hurt me. I don’t remember how long I sat there pouring out everything I ever wanted to say to him. I loved you and you hurt me. I went with a heavy heart and even though he couldn’t hear me I left feeling free of all those feelings that had been bent up inside. I walked away feeling like I was walking on a cloud. The burdens of my heart was left behind as I drove away.

All of us have unspoken words to our abuser/s. Maybe we have lashed out at one time or another and they received it with a deaf ear. Maybe we’ve just had it all bottled up inside because “it wouldn’t do any good to say it.” Those unspoken words keep us in emotional bondage to the one who hurt us. We are still locked together with that person just as if we have handcuffs locked about our wrist.

Jesus does not want us bound to evil. He came that we may have life more abundant and that means free from not only the many issues that we grapple with from the abuse but the emotional ties of not being able to voice the hurt, anger, and pain we feel. Christ has the key to those handcuffs. Will you take it?

imagesCAT6PXSV

 

Assignment: One of the most important assignments I’ll give.

Sit down with pen and paper and write a letter to your abuser. It will not be sent! You are the only one who will read it, if that is your choice. Pour your heart out! Hold nothing back! This isn’t a sweet, “I don’t want to hurt your feelings but…” kind of letter. This is pouring out the hurt, the betrayal, the rage you feel, whatever it is you want to say.

The last three words of your letter should be, “I forgive you.” I know that’s a tall order, but Christ forgives us and we don’t deserve it either. If you can’t end your letter with those words, it’s okay. For now.

Freedom is yours if you’ll take the time to do this exercise.  If you have more than one abuser I suggest picking the one whom you feel hurt you the most, (if that’s possible) then when you’ve felt that freedom go back at another time and write to another, then another and do it until you have been set free from each. This is a safe means of letting out the anger, hurt, etc.

Let us know how you feel after writing the letter. It can be encouragement to the others in the group.

 

If you have confidential questions/comments feel free to e-mail me at: elah501c@bellsouth.net

~~~~~

“He whom the Son sets free is free indeed!” John 8:36

http://www.elahministries.com

http://www.suepen2paper.com

http://www.facebook.com/elahministries

Blessings to you.