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Man Regrets Transgender Surgery and Life as Women, Says Media ‘Misled’ Him

Michael Foust | Contributor | Wednesday, February 13, 2019
Man Regrets Transgender Surgery and Life as Women, Says Media ‘Misled’ Him


A man who formerly lived as a transgender woman and who had sex-reassignment surgery is speaking up about how he regrets the changes he made.

Many other people like him exist, he says, but their voices are not given a platform.

“Had I not been misled by media stories of sex change ‘success’ and by medical practitioners who said transitioning was the answer to my problems, I wouldn’t have suffered as I have,” Walt Heyer writes in a column on USA Today’s website. “Genetics can’t be changed. Feelings, however, can and do change. Underlying issues often drive the desire to escape one’s life into another, and they need to be addressed before taking the radical step of transition.”

Heyer, who heads, says he met and married a woman in his early 20s. They had two children, but he eventually began identifying as a woman himself. Those feelings, he says, were sparked by a grandmother who dressed him like a girl when he was four years old. An uncle sexually abused him, too. A medical professional him that his “childhood events were not related” to his “current gender distress.”

He started taking female hormones at age 42. He had breast implants and genital reconfiguration surgery. He and his wife split.

“My childhood dream was realized, and my life as a woman began,” he writes.

He changed his birth certificate and became known as “Laura.” Inside, though, he wasn’t happy.

“A gender specialist told me to give it more time,” he writes. “Eight years seemed like an awfully long time to me. Nothing made sense. Why hadn’t the recommended hormones and surgery worked? Why was I still distressed about my gender identity? Why wasn’t I happy being Laura? Why did I have strong desires to be Walt again?”

At age 50, he had his breast implants removed. He spent the next few years in counseling. By age 55, his desires to be a woman were gone.

He then met a woman who “didn’t care about the changes to my body.” They were married and have been together for 21 years.

“You will hear the media say, ‘Regret is rare.’ But they are not reading my inbox, which is full of messages from transgender individuals who want the life and body back that was taken from them by cross-sex hormones, surgery and living under a new identity,” Heyer writes. “After de-transitioning, I know the truth: Hormones and surgery may alter appearances, but nothing changes the immutable fact of your sex.”

Michael Foust is a freelance writer. Visit his blog,

Photo courtesy: Lauren Mitchell/Unsplash


Child Sexual Abuse and Education


Showers Of Grace


This post discusses themes of child sexual abuse and may be graphic for some readers. 

writingFor the past four months I have been writing a memoir about my experience growing up in a dysfunctional household and how it has affected me through each stage of my life. Though I have been trying to take a subjective stance with my writing by not allowing my emotions to dictate the text, I have found that my writing has been not only cathartic but it has helped me pinpoint certain events that still negatively impact me to this day.

While I have relatively “gotten over” (does one ever really “get over” traumatic experiences or do they simply learn to live with it?) most of my childhood traumas, I found myself catching my breath when writing about specific events — such as child sexual abuse.

I have a hard time calling what I…

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Emotional Child Abuse Defined


Raising awareness of emotional child abuse, its effects on adult survivors & the power of words on children


“Emotional abuse is like brain washing in that it systematically wears away at the victim’s self-confidence, sense of self-worth, trust in their own perceptions, and self-concept. Whether it is done by constant berating and belittling, by intimidating, or under the guise of ‘guidance,’ ‘teaching,’ or ‘advice,’ the results are similar. Eventually, the recipient of the abuse loses all sense of self and remnants of personal value. Emotional abuse cuts to the very core of a person, creating scars that may be far deeper and more lasting than physical ones.” (University of Illinois, Counseling Center)

However, when people discuss child abuse, they often refer to the physical abuse and sexual abuse of children, both absolutely horrific types of abuse. All forms of child abuse are terrible… but the one that underpins them all—the abuse that often gets ignored—is emotional child abuse.

“Emotional abuse is at the core of all major forms of abuse and neglect, is more damaging in its impact than acts of physical and sexual abuse alone, and requires special attention to disentangle it from physical and sexual acts of maltreatment.” (The Emotionally Abused and Neglected Child: Identification, Assessment and Intervention: A Practice Handbook)

Whereas physically abused and sexually abused children have the physical proof as witnesses to their abuse, the emotionally abused child often does not.


“Emotional abuse is the systematic diminishment of another. It may be intentional or subconscious (or both), but it is always a course of conduct, not a single event. It is designed to reduce a child’s self-concept to where the victim considers himself unworthy—unworthy of respect, unworthy of friendship, unworthy of the natural birthright of children: love and protection.” (child advocate, lawyer, and author Andrew Vachss, You Carry the Cure in Your Own Heart essay)

Another definition by the National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children is:

“Emotional abuse is the persistent emotional ill-treatment of a child such as to cause severe and persistent adverse effects on the child’s emotional development. It may involve conveying to children that they are worthless or unloved, inadequate, or valued only insofar as they meet the needs of another person. It may feature age or developmentally inappropriate expectations being imposed on children. It may involve causing children frequently to feel frightened or in danger, or the exploitation or corruption of children. Some level of emotional abuse is involved in all types of ill treatment of a child, though it may occur alone.” (Department of Health et al, 1999, p.5-6)

The words persistent and systematic are crucial to the definition of child abuse. Emotional child abuse isn’t a parent telling his child once, “Why did you spill the juice? Don’t do that again!”

Emotional abuse is systematic. It’s a consistent destructive force in a child’s life. For example, an emotionally abusive parent will tell a child,“Why did you spill the juice? You are so clumsy…” and then, at some point in time (close enough to be linked to the first event), “You spilled something again? Can’t you ever do something right?” and then later, again at another point close enough in memory that the child ties it together, “You are always spilling things because you’re not careful. You don’t pay attention. You’re always messing things up.” And so on…

In time, the emotionally abused child adopts the phrase into his or her memory as something that defines them: “I am always messing up. I don’t pay attention. I am not careful.” He takes the words as a description of who he is… and the phrases will come back to him often.

All the destructive words, whether encased in subtle phrasing or baldly hurtful, will become part of the child’s “self talk.” The words will become truths to the child.

To find out more about the different types of emotional child abuse, visit this page.

Just waking up to the fact you had an emotionally abusive childhood?  This 92-page PDF can help you during this difficult time. For just $7.99, you receive What Really Happened: Finding Out You Had an Emotionally Abusive Childhood (and Tips for Healing).

veronica-jarski_authorVeronica Jarski is founder and managing editor of The Invisible Scar, a passion project dedicated to raising awareness of emotional child abuse and its effects on adult survivors. She has extensive editorial experience and a bachelor’s degree in journalism. Her work has been featured on myriad publications, such as Kapost, MarketingProfs, and Ragan.


Respect How I feel

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Too many times people tell us, “Oh you shouldn’t feel that way.” We need to listen to the person’s heart. If they are hurting that is what they are feeling from within. It is not right and it is not wrong. It is what it is and hurts can be healed but not by ignoring the feelings. Yes, there are rights and there are wrongs in this world and the Lord knows what is best for us. He will convict us of wrong doing or thinking but when it comes to our hearts, He knows exactly where we are. So we need to be careful in possibly adding more pain by condemning another of what is happening within their heart.

Tears of a Saint

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My heart hurts. The tears flow. I don’t know how to stop the evil in our world. I have begun to doubt that God is really in control. How can He be when the most innocent of innocent are slaughtered at the hands of the most evil and vile of what is known as human beings? How can the Highest of Highest stand by and allow these monsters called intelligent beings rip from the womb the most innocent of His?

My heart cries and there seems to be no answers. I scream, “Come Lord Jesus, come and stop this madness!” Yet I see Him not on the clouds of heaven racing toward earth to save us from the insanity that has crossed this land.

Is He in control? I have to remind myself through faith because He died on the cross to save us. I have to hang  onto the faith that He has instilled within me through His Holy Spirit and the trials and tribulations that He has brought me through. I have to hang on to His promises.

Can I finish this race with confidence that I will see Him in Paradise? Can I rest assured that He will greet me with open arms because my thoughts are so confused and the enemy invades. The doubts, the fears, the anger, and the hope, are all  intermingled with the tears streaming down my cheeks.

There is a Rock and a Life line that I must cling to or drown in this sea of evil, pure unadulterated evil! Can I make it that long? Can I hang on long enough to hear the trumpet sound?

I hope so.

I have to.

I will!


Psalm 46:1 – “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.”


In every Christian’s life there will be times when we just cannot understand what is taking place within our world. Doubts can and will arise and it is then that the enemy will invade and convince us, or try to convince us, that all we have believed is wrong. That we have been fed a pack of lies and we can no longer trust what is truth. If we allow those thoughts to take root we will lose all hope. We will lose the strength and perseverance that the Lord gives us. We must cling to the Word of God and cling to His promises. Don’t allow a lack of understanding to squelch the truth of God and all that He is and all of Who He is. Stand strong on the faith that has been instilled through the Holy Spirit and lean not on your own understanding.


The Heavens are Angry

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Jan. 24, 2019 11:37 a.m.

The heavens are angry and My wrath shall be poured out. My children are crying, their hearts are ripped apart. For good reason!

Listen up My children for the day of redemption is very near. Pray as you have never prayed before, for the enemy has taken control of those who serve him.

Listen not to human reasoning for the human mind is corrupt. Proof of this is in the latest of laws in your country and My wrath shall be as no one has ever seen.

Take heed you heathens from hell for your days are numbered. You think you have conquered Me but you have seen nothing. Laugh and rejoice at your evil attempts to control what is mine. You shall see the fires of hell in a split second so beware of what you have done.

Your time on earth will soon close and all of eternity faces you. Pray My children. My little ones will be with Me but for now let the tears flow and your hearts will be healed.

Thus sayeth the Lord.

Characteristics of a Trafficker

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It’s human trafficking awareness month, and today we’re looking at common characteristics of a trafficker. It’s a good idea to familiarize yourself with this list… and share it with your tweens and teens. Be sure to encourage them to talk to you if they ever find themselves in a relationship with someone who shows any of these characteristics.

Common characteristics of a trafficker (male or female):
– Seems to come out of nowhere, with no ties to others in your community
– Jealous, controlling, violent
– Significantly older than the intended victim and those already in their grasp
– Makes promises that are too good to be true
– Encourages victims to achieve their goals by engaging in illegal activities
– Buys expensive gifts
– Vague about their profession
– Pushy or demanding about sex
– Encourages inappropriate sexual behavior
– Talks openly about financial matters. Makes their victim feel responsible for trafficker’s financial instability.

**Please keep in mind that this is a list of things often seen in traffickers but is by no means a catch-all list. A trafficker may show none of these signs. Likewise someone may show all these characteristics and not be a trafficker. Always trust your instincts!

If you or someone you know has been victimized by a trafficker, these resources are available 24/7:
* StreetLightUSA Hotline: 1-623-377-9062
* BeFree Textline: Text HELP to 233733 (BEFREE)
* National Human Trafficking Hotline: 1-888-373-7888
* National Center for Missing & Exploited Children: 1-800-843-5678