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The Importance of Setting Boundaries in Your Life

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Health Alert News 
Many people believe that it is selfish to set boundaries.

However, it is important for you to set boundaries in your personal life and professional life. There are many ways that you can benefit from setting personal and professional boundaries.

Save Stress 

If you do not set boundaries at home or at work, then you will quickly find yourself getting overwhelmed. You may end up being drained and not having any energy to do anything else. If you set boundaries, then you will be able to reduce your stress.

Your Own Needs and Met 

When you constantly put other people before yourself, you will likely neglect your own needs. Setting boundaries is one of the keys to making sure that your emotional and physical needs are met. You are more likely to get your needs met if you ask other people for help.

More Compassionate 

Many people think that setting boundaries is unfair and mean.

However, it can actually have the opposite effect. In fact, psychologists have found that people who set boundaries are more compassionate.

Letting people know about what is and is not okay is respectful and kind.

Better Relationships 

Setting boundaries will allow you to have better relationships with everyone around you. Conflict is less likely to occur if everyone already knows what is acceptable. You will have a more peaceful environment in the home and the workplace. Everyone will be happier as a result of this.

Less Resent and Anger 

If there are no boundaries, then people will likely start to walk all over you. This will cause you to feel angry and resentful.

However, if you communicate to ensure that your needs are being met, then you will likely have less anger and resentment.

Peace of Mind 

You will be able to avoid letting people take advantage of you if you set boundaries. This will give you peace of mind. You will be less likely to suffer verbal and emotional abuse at the hands of anyone if the boundaries are already there.

More Time and Energy 

Being a person that says yes to everything and everyone can be draining. However, you will have more time and energy if you set boundaries. If you say no to people and things that drain you down, then you will be able to spend time doing more of the things that you love. As a result of this, you will be happier and healthier.

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Liberals Furious! Johns Hopkins Chief Psychiatrist: Transgender Is A ‘Mental Disorder’

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Liberals Furious! Johns Hopkins Chief Psychiatrist: Transgender Is A ‘Mental Disorder’

A prominent psychiatrist, at Johns Hopkins Hospital, Dr. Paul R McHugh, claims that transgender individuals suffer from a form of mental illness and that Gender Reassignment is “biologically impossible.”

On the heels of the American College of Pediatrics Reaching the Decision that Transgenderism of Children is Child Abuse (click and read!), people are melting downeverywhere!

To be clear – people should be treated very seriously when attempting to rectify their feelings with surgery or dangerous hormone treatments because they do need help and fast. Can people reasonably disagree about a cure?

Can people also agree that children should not be making these choices?

Dr, McHugh also states that people who endorse gender reassignment are in fact supporting a mental disorder.

According to CNS News:

Dr. Paul R. McHugh, the former psychiatrist-in-chief for Johns Hopkins…

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Five Indicators of An Evil and Wicked Heart

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Author:  Category: CounselingRelationships

As Christian counselors, pastors and people helpers we often have a hard time discerning between an evil heart and an ordinary sinner who messes up, who isn’t perfect, and full of weakness and sin.

I think one of the reasons we don’t “see” evil is because we find it so difficult to believe that evil individuals actually exist.  We can’t imagine someone deceiving us with no conscience, hurting others with no remorse, spinning outrageous fabrications to ruin someone’s reputation, or pretending he or she is spiritually committed yet has no fear of God before his or her eyes.

The Bible clearly tells us that among God’s people there are wolves that wear sheep’s clothing (Jeremiah 23:14; Titus 1:10; Revelations 2:2). It’s true that every human heart is inclined toward sin (Romans 3:23), and that includes evil (Genesis 8:21; James 1:4).  We all miss God’s mark of moral perfection.  However, most ordinary sinners do not happily indulge evil urges, nor do we feel good about having them. We feel ashamed and guilty, rightly so (Romans 7:19-21).  These things are not true of the evil heart.

Below are five indicators that you may be dealing with an evil heart rather than an ordinary sinful heart.  If so, it requires a radically different treatment approach.

1.     Evil hearts are experts at creating confusion and contention. They twist the facts, mislead, lie, avoid taking responsibility, deny reality, make up stories, and withhold information  (Exodus 2:1; Psalms 5:8; 10:7; 58:3; 109:2-5; 140:2; Proverbs 6:13,14; 6:18,19; 12:13; 16:20; 16:27, 28; 30:14; Job 15:35; Jeremiah 18:18; Nehemiah 6:8; Micah 2:1; Matthew 12:34,35; Acts 6:11-13; 2 Peter 3:16).

2.     Evil hearts are experts at fooling others with their smooth speech and flattering words.   But if you look at the fruit of their lives or the follow through of their words, you will find no real evidence of godly growth or change. It’s all smoke and mirrors (Psalm 50:19; 52:2,3; 57:4, 59:7; 101:7; Proverbs 12:5; 26:23-26; 26:28; Job 20:12; Jeremiah 9:34; 12:6; Matthew 26:59; Acts 6:11-13; Romans 16:13,18; 2 Corinthians 11:13,14; 2 Timothy 3:2-5; 3:13; Titus 1:10,16).

3.     Evil hearts crave and demand control and their highest authority is their own self-reference. They reject feedback, real accountability and make up their own rules to live by.  They use Scripture to their own advantage but ignore and reject passages that might require self-correction and repentance (Romans 2:8; Psalms 10; 36:1-4; 50:16-22; 54:5,6; 73:6-9; Proverbs 21:24; Jude 1:8-16)

4.     Evil hearts play on the sympathies of good-willed people, often trumping the grace card.  They demand mercy but give none themselves. They demand warmth, forgiveness, and intimacy from those they have harmed with no empathy for the pain they have caused and no real intention of making amends or working hard to rebuild broken trust (Proverbs 21:10; 1 Peter 2:16; Jude 1:4).

5.     Evil hearts have no conscience, no remorse.  They do not struggle against sin or evil, they delight in it, all the while masquerading as someone of noble character.  (Proverbs 2:14-15; 10:23; 12:10; 21:27,29 Isaiah 32:6; Romans 1:30; 2 Corinthians 11:13-15).

If you are working with someone who exhibits these characteristics it’s important that you confront them head on.  You must name evil for what it is. The longer you try to reason with them or show mercy towards them, the more you, as the Christian counselor, will become a pawn in his or her game.

They want you to believe that:

1.     Their horrible actions should have no serious or painful consequences.  When they say, “I’m sorry”, they look to you as the pastor or Christian counselor to be their advocate for amnesty with the person they have harmed.  They believe grace means they are immediately granted immunity from the relational fallout of their serious sin. They believe forgiveness entitles them to full reconciliation and will pressure you and their victim to comply.

The Bible warns us saying, “But when grace is shown to the wicked, they do not learn righteousness; even in a land of uprightness they go on doing evil and do not regard the majesty of the Lord (Isaiah 26:10).

The Bible tells us that talking doesn’t wake up evil people but painful consequences might. Jesus didn’t wake up the Pharisees with his talk nor did God’s counsel impact Cain (Genesis 4).  In addition, the Bible shows us that when someone is truly sorry for the pain they have caused, they are eager to make amends to those they have harmed by their sin. (See Zacchaeus’s response when he repented of his greed in Luke 19.)

Tim Keller writes, “If you have been the victim of a heinous crime.  If you have suffered violence, and the perpetrator (or even the judge) says, “Sorry, can’t we just let it go? You would say, “No, that would be an injustice.” Your refusal would rightly have nothing to do with bitterness or vengeance.  If you have been badly wronged, you know that saying sorry is never enough.  Something else is required¾some kind of costly payment must be made to put things right.” [1]

As Biblical counselors let’s not collude with the evil one by turning our attention to the victim, requiring her to forgive, to forget, to trust again when there has been no evidence of inner change in the one who has been practicing evil. Proverbs says, “Trusting in a treacherous man in time of trouble is like a bad tooth or a foot that slips”  (Proverbs. 25:19).  It’s foolishness.

The evil person will also try to get you to believe

2.     That if I talk like a gospel-believing Christian I am one, even if my actions don’t line up with my talk.  Remember, Satan masquerades as an angel of light  (2 Corinthians 11:13-15).  He knows more true doctrine than you or I will ever know but his heart is wicked.  Why?  Because although he knows the truth, he does not believe it or live it.

The Bible has some strong words for those whose actions do not match their talk (1 John 3:17,18; Jeremiah 7:8,10; James 1:22, 26).  John the Baptist said it best when he admonished the religious leaders: “Prove by the way you live that you have repented of your sins and turned to God (Luke 3:8).

If week after week you hear the talk but there is no change in the walk of that person, especially if you are also receiving feedback from the person who has been sinned against that there is continued covert harm, deceit, and manipulation, you have every reason to question that person’s relationship with God.

Part of our maturity as spiritual leaders is that we are to be trained to discern between good and evil.  Why is that so important?  It’s important because evil usually pretends to be good and without godly discernment we can be easily fooled (Hebrews 5:14).

When you confront evil, chances are good that the evil heart will stop counseling with you because the darkness hates the light (John 3:20) and the foolish and evil heart reject correction (Proverbs 9:7,8).  But that outcome is far better than allowing the evil heart to believe you are on his or her side, or that “he’s not that bad” or “that he’s really sorry,” or “that he’s changing” when in fact, he is not.

Daniel says, “the wicked will continue to be wicked”, (Daniel 12:10), which begs the question, do you think an evil person can really change?

[1] Tim Keller, Jesus the King, page 172

Escaping ‘Trans La La Land’: Dozens of Transgender Regretters ‘Come Out’ to Tell the Truth

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Escaping ‘Trans La La Land’: Dozens of Transgender Regretters ‘Come Out’ to Tell the Truth

01-08-2019
Transgender logo

As the transgender movement becomes all the rage in popular culture, those who once lived that lifestyle – and are now plagued with regret – are coming forward to share their stories.

Author Walt Heyer chronicles their various journeys in his new book, Trans Life Survivors.

Trans Life Survivors showcases emails from 30 or so people, selected from among hundreds who have written me, concerning what many call ‘the biggest mistake’ of their lives,” Heyer writes in the book’s introduction.

Heyer is hardly an outsider regarding this controversial issue. To the contrary, Heyer himself endured a life-long struggle with gender confusion leading him to have…

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I AM – Devotional Style Short Stories – “We Were Not Alone”

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We Were Not Alone

Her nerves are stretched to where she feels she can stand this no more. She slams on the brakes of the car in the parking lot and sits staring at nothing as the motor idles. Her mind seems to have gone on hold. No thoughts, no feelings, no nothing. It’s been too much.

Finally, shaking her head as though to awaken from a deep sleep, she turns the ignition off, and takes a long agonizingly deep breath and steps out of the car.

Walking into the building she walks to the elevator and rises to the third floor. Slowly she opens a door and enters into plush waiting room with a fake palm tree in one corner, enticing comfortable chairs, and carpet so thick she feels she could curl up on it like a cozy warm bed.

She signs the sheet on the clip board and…

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Johns Hopkins Psychiatrist: ‘Transgendered Men Don’t Become Women,’ They Become ‘Feminized Men,’ ‘Impersonators’

Johns Hopkins Psychiatrist: ‘Transgendered Men Don’t Become Women,’ They Become ‘Feminized Men,’ ‘Impersonators’

Michael W. Chapman

By Michael W. Chapman | May 5, 2016 | 11:46 AM EDT

Dr. Paul R. McHugh

(Johns Hopkins Medicine)

Dr. Paul R. McHugh, the Distinguished Service Professor of Psychiatry at Johns Hopkins University and former psychiatrist–in-chief for Johns Hopkins Hospital, who has studied transgendered people for 40 years, said it is a scientific fact that “transgendered men do not become women, nor do transgendered women become men.”

All such people, he explained in an article for The Witherspoon Institute,  “become feminized men or masculinized women, counterfeits or impersonators of the sex with which they ‘identify.’”

Dr. McHugh, who was psychiatrist-in-chief at Johns Hopkins Hospital for 26 years, the medical institute that had initially pioneered sex-change surgery – and later ceased the practice – stressed that the cultural meme, or idea that “one’s sex is fluid and a matter of choice” is extremely damaging, especially to young people.

“Caitlyn” Jenner.  (AP) 

The idea that one’s sexuality is a feeling and not a biological fact “is doing much damage to families, adolescents, and children and should be confronted as an opinion without biological foundation wherever it emerges,” said Dr. McHugh in his article, Transgenderism: A Pathogenic Meme.

“I am ever trying to be the boy among the bystanders who points to what’s real,” said Dr. McHugh, who is also professor of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences at Johns Hopkins.  “I do so not only because truth matters, but also because overlooked amid the hoopla—enhanced now by Bruce Jenner’s celebrity and Annie Leibovitz’s photography—stand many victims.”

“Think, for example, of the parents whom no one—not doctors, schools, nor even churches—will help to rescue their children from these strange notions of being transgendered and the problematic lives these notions herald,” warned McHugh.

They rarely find therapists who are willing to help them “work out their conflicts and correct their assumptions,” said McHugh. “Rather, they and their families find only ‘gender counselors’ who encourage them in their sexual misassumptions.”

In addition, he said, “both the state and federal governments are actively seeking to block any treatments that can be construed as challenging the assumptions and choices of transgendered youngsters.”

“As part of our dedication to protecting America’s youth, this administration supports efforts to ban the use of conversion therapy for minors,” said Valerie Jarrett, a senior advisor to President Obama, as quoted by Dr. McHugh in his article.

However, there is plenty of evidence showing that “transgendering” is a “psychological rather than a biological matter,” said Dr. McHugh.

“Renee” Richards, former tennis

player who underwent male-to-female

sex-reassignment surgery. (AP) 

“In fact, gender dysphoria—the official psychiatric term for feeling oneself to be of the opposite sex—belongs in the family of similarly disordered assumptions about the body, such as anorexia nervosa and body dysmorphic disorder,” said McHugh.

“Its treatment should not be directed at the body as with surgery and hormones any more than one treats obesity-fearing anorexic patients with liposuction,” he said.

In fact, at Johns Hopkins, where they pioneered sex-change-surgery, “we demonstrated that the practice brought no important benefits,” said Dr. McHugh. “As a result, we stopped offering that form of treatment in the 1970s.”

In recent years, though, the notion that one’s sex is fluid has flooded the culture. It is “reflected everywhere in the media, the theater, the classroom, and in many medical clinics,” said McHugh.

It is biologically false that one can exchange one’s sex, explained McHugh.

(AP photo.)

“Transgendered men do not become women, nor do transgendered women become men,” he said.  “All (including Bruce Jenner) become feminized men or masculinized women, counterfeits or impersonators of the sex with which they ‘identify.’ In that lies their problematic future.”

When “the tumult and shouting dies,” McHugh continued, “it proves not easy nor wise to live in a counterfeit sexual garb. The most thorough follow-up of sex-reassigned people—extending over 30 years and conducted in Sweden, where the culture is strongly supportive of the transgendered—documents their lifelong mental unrest.”

“Ten to 15 years after surgical reassignment, the suicide rate of those who had undergone sex-reassignment surgery rose to 20 times that of comparable peers,” said McHugh.

(AP photo.) 

Nonetheless, the false “assumption that one’s sexual nature is misaligned with one’s biological sex,” can be treated with therapy and medication, said McHugh.

He further stressed that, “What is needed now is public clamor for coherent science—biological and therapeutic science—examining the real effects of these efforts to ‘support’ transgendering.”

“But gird your loins if you would confront this matter,” warned Dr. McHugh.  “Hell hath no fury like a vested interest masquerading as a moral principle.”

Dr. McHugh’s article, Transgenderism: A Pathogenic Meme, can be read in full at the website of The Witherspoon Institute.


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A Note to my Blogging friends

Sue's Pen2PaperBlog

As some of you know I have seven published books. The Lord is now having me working on number eight. Its title is, “I AM – Devotional Style Short Stories.”

For several months He has been having me write these short stories with no commentary and I have posted some of them previously on my blogs, the website, and Facebook.

Now He’s having me add the commentary to each story.

He has recently informed me that because not all of my blogging friends are able to purchase my books that I am to share these short stories, with the commentaries, so as to share His Good News with all.

You’re getting to read the book, part of it anyway, before it even goes to a publisher!

If you see a short story and think, “Geeez, she’s already posted that!” and are tempted to pass it by, don’t. The commentaries have…

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