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Monthly Archives: January 2018

Give Hope

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Sue's Pen2PaperBlog

There are times in all of our lives that we feel that what we do is not worthwhile or significant and that no one cares. There is One who does care and regardless of what society, an individual, or even small groups of people think, we are significant in the eyes of the Almighty Lord.

I have gone through those times at various times of my life. I was insignificant in a dysfunctional family growing up. But God didn’tsee me that way! He gave me the ability to survive the atrocities that were being inflicted upon me by others. I was loved by the Great I Am!

Through the years I experienced what could be called “love” from others. Men who I thought I could be the “apple of their eye.” Only to be used as their “conquest.” I have experienced the rejection of others more times than I…

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Long Term

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We may still struggle but we have a Lord that is our Healer.

ANNA WALDHERR A Voice Reclaimed, Surviving Child Abuse

“Sad Boy”, Author Sascha Grosser (CC BY-SA 4.0 International)

A new study by the University of Utah confirms that abuse before the age of 5 can continue to have negative consequences decades later [1].

This is no surprise to abuse victims.  We know we cannot simply “snap out” of depression, anxiety, and PTSD despite the well-meaning advice of friends, family, physicians, and strangers alike.  That fact only adds to our sense of isolation.

Researchers found that:

“…those who experienced abuse or neglect early in life consistently were less successful in their social relationships and academic performance during childhood, adolescence and even during adulthood.  The effects of maltreatment did not weaken as the participants got older [2].”

The sad little boy or girl becomes the sad, lonely and/or angry man or woman.  Unfortunately, that anger is often turned inward, becoming another destructive force against which we must battle.

This has nothing…

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Honoring Mommy & Daddy

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I posted this a few years ago and thought it might be helpful today.

Cyber Support Group

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The Ten Commandment are given to us to protect and enhance our daily lives. A young child is taught to respect the commandments and all of the scriptures. Hopefully through, and with, the love of their parents or some other loving individual.

Many times the commandment, “Honor your mother and father” is taught by an abusive person as a means of control and manipulation. His/her distorted version of this commandment can and does cause many problems later in life for the survivor of childhood sexual abuse.

It can also distort His word for those who have been physically or emotionally abused. Particularly if that abuse was from those closest to the child, the parent.

“These are the commandments the Lord

proclaimed in a loud voice…

Honor your father and your mother

as the Lord your God has commanded you,

so that you may live long and that it

may go…

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Understanding Panic Attacks and Anxiety

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Understanding Panic Attacks and Anxiety 

Everyone experiences anxiety from time to time, but for some people, anxiety is more than just butterflies in the stomach and sweaty palms. According to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America, roughly 18.1 percent of the nation suffers from an anxiety disorder.
Unfortunately, only 36.9 percent of these people receive treatment for their anxiety, which leaves millions of people suffering in silence.

Struggling with anxiety is scary enough, but some people also experience panic attacks. These intense episodes of fear are debilitating and accompanied by both emotional distress and physical symptoms. Learning about panic attacks can help you get a better grasp on your anxiety.

If you’re reading this because a friend to family member is suffering from panic attacks, this article will help you get in their head space and provide comfort during their scariest moments.

What is a panic attack?

A panic attack is a sudden onset of extreme fear, anxiety and discomfort. They can happen after a long period of anxiety or strike out of the blue, and continued episodes can increase anxiety by making sufferer’s fearful of having a panic attack in public, at work or around their loved ones.

Signs of a Panic Attack

The Anxiety and Depression Association of America provides a list of common panic attack symptoms. Learning to identify these symptoms in yourself and others can make you more equipped to handle them when they arise.

– Rabid heartbeat or palpitations.
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Sweating.
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Trembling or shaking.
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Feeling of choking or suffocating.
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Nausea.
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Numbness and tingling (paresthesia).
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Fear of dying.
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Fear of losing one’s mind or feeling like you’re “going crazy”.
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Feeling of detachment from reality (derealization) or detachment from one’s self or body (depersonalization).

How to Prevent Panic Attacks and Manage Anxiety

The first step toward preventing panic attacks is to identify personal triggers and symptoms. Understanding the signs of an oncoming panic attack will help you stay in control during an episode.

If you suffer from panic attacks, you might develop what is known as “anticipatory anxiety”, which is anxiety about having a panic attack or feeling anxious. You may also develop phobic anxiety, which causes you to avoid social situations where your anxiety might flare up and lead to a panic attack that embarasses you or makes you feel trapped.

Some ways to combat panic attacks include:

– Deep breathing.
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Practice mindfulness (focus on the present, acknowledge your anxiety).
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Relax one muscle of the body at a time.
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Focus on a specific object in the room.
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Repeat a personal mantra.

How to Help Someone Having a Panic Attack

Watching someone lose control during a panic attack can be just as frightening as having one. It’s okay to be afraid, but it’s also important to support your friend or family member during this time. First, take a deep breath so you can remain calm and centered. Speak evenly and in a soothing tone, but don’t confine the person or try to hold or hug them unless they ask you. Most people having panic attacks feel trapped, and pinning them down (even in an embrace) can make them feel worse.

Instead, tell them to focus on you and your voice. Acknowledge their fear. Don’t tell them it isn’t real; anxiety is real and feels real to anyone experiencing it. Lead them through several deep breaths, in through the nose and out through the mouth. Then, have them identify five things they can see. Next, five things they can hear. After that, five things they can smell or touch. This process will help “ground” them to the present and refocus their spiraling thoughts.

If someone is especially panicked, continue to lead them through breathing exercises. Asthmatics may need their inhaler if they hyperventilate, but do not force anyone to respond, speak or do anything during a panic attack. After a few minutes, the attack will begin to subside and they will be more coherent. Patience and serenity are key.

When to Seek Professional Help

If your panic attacks have become extremely frequent, worsened your anxiety and led to a total aversion of social situations, speak to a local mental health professional. A psychologist can help you develop a working strategy to combat your anxiety and prevent further attacks. If you have an anxiety disorder, a psychologist can refer you to a psychiatrist who can prescribe you medications to accompany your treatment.

The worst thing about anxiety is the helplessness it brings. But you aren’t helpless in getting help, so don’t be afraid to reach out when you need it and get your life in control again.

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Predators Hide in Plain Sight

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Online Predators

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ANNA WALDHERR A Voice Reclaimed, Surviving Child Abuse

“Danger Mines!” Warning sign re:  hidden mine shafts, Sri Lanka, Author Adam Jones, Source Flickr (CC BY-SA 2.0 Generic)

We have all heard reports of online child molesters who haunt websites popular with children and teens; assume false identities; make use of the details on public profiles to entice victims to a meeting; then abduct them.  Any parent’s blood would run cold at the thought.

Far more often, however, it is statutory rape rather than abduction that results from online predation [1][2].

Research shows that the vast majority of teens who interact with an unknown individual online are aware when that individual is an adult, whether the interaction is via email, instant messaging or a chatroom.  Any deception that takes place is more likely to involve love than identity.

If the adult is a predator (typically 10 or more years older than the victim), sex is usually mentioned up front…

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If You Have a Pulse, God Has a Plan

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A powerful and heartfelt testimony.