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Monthly Archives: February 2017

Red Carpet

ANNA WALDHERR A Voice Reclaimed, Surviving Child Abuse

Kim Kardashian on the red carpet, Sydney Australia, Author Eva Rinaldi, Source flickr.com (CC BY-SA 2.0 Generic) Kim Kardashian on the red carpet, Sydney Australia, Author Eva Rinaldi, Source flickr.com (CC BY-SA 2.0 Generic)

Watch Kim Kardashian on the red carpet sometime.  She smiles.  She preens for the cameras, turning this way and that.  She eats up the attention.

Many abuse victims are just the opposite.  We shun the limelight, feel awkward and uncomfortable if the spotlight is turned on us.  Instead, we prefer to go unnoticed, to fade into the background – wallflowers by choice.

Why is this?  Why is the very thought of attending a children’s play, a PTA meeting, or church service daunting?  Why is it difficult for us simply to enter a room full of strangers?

Staying at home seems so much safer.

Rejection

If pressed, we are likely to say that we fear rejection.  Often, this centers around our looks.  Some feature of ours seems less than perfect to us.  Our nose…

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Breathe Again

There is hope for all of us.

the grizzle grist mill

Life can feel like a heavy blanket resting on your chest, soaking up the rain, getting heavier and heavier. You can choose to get lost under the weight, dwindling down to nothing, expelling all the air from your lungs. You can close your eyes and simply allow the pain to wash you away in the storm.

Heartache and grief is bound to come to each one. If it hasn’t visited you, just hold on, your hour will come when reality slams through the door like a hurricane, and you wonder if the sun will ever shine again. Those days, the air can become so suffocating, as if your house is on fire, and you’re caught within the fumes and the smoke, grasping for one more chance to breathe again.

In that moment, in that lapse of time, you have to choose to breathe again, even when it is a struggle…

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Lovelorn, Part 2

ANNA WALDHERR A Voice Reclaimed, Surviving Child Abuse

A single red tea rose, Author Brandy Cross (CC BY-SA 3.0 Unported) A single red tea rose, Author Brandy Cross (CC BY-SA 3.0 Unported)

No child is morally culpable for having been sexually violated.

Tragically, child abuse can have a significant impact on sexual identity (the gender with which victims identify), sexual orientation (the gender to which victims are attracted), and sexuality (victims’ capacity for sexual feelings).

Unfortunately, whether out of modesty or embarrassment, Christians may find it difficult to discuss sex.  This difficulty is compounded for abuse victims.

Sexual Identity/Sexual Orientation

That the trauma of child molestation can impact sexual identity and sexual orientation makes intuitive sense.

As children, we can do little to vent the confusion, fear, shame, and rage abuse causes us.  At a deep level, we either adopt the manner and attitudes of our abuser or reject them.  The decision is not an intellectual one.  It is a matter of survival [1].

This is not to suggest that…

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Lovelorn, Part 1

ANNA WALDHERR A Voice Reclaimed, Surviving Child Abuse

Chocolate box ( Chocolate box (“OK, not exactly the gift…”), Author Chrys Omori (CC BY-2.0 Generic)

Society glorifies romantic love, but is rather harsh toward those who do not succeed at it.  The lonely.  The heartbroken.  Unfortunately, many abuse victims fall into this category.  Strangers to real love, we tend to stumble in our pursuit of it.

There used to be advice columns for the lovelorn.  Miss Lonelyhearts – a Depression era novel by Nathanael West about such a column – has been the basis for several movies, an opera, and a Broadway play.

There is still a great deal of poetry written about lost love.  Just Google the topic.

These days, anonymous sex and hard core pornography are readily available.  Craigslist has discontinued its infamous “adult” section.  But ads for prostitution (included among them ads trafficking children) can easily be found online [1].

While pornography and anonymous sex reflect on the decadence…

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A Really Sick Mind – Supreme Court Justice Ginsburg

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A true reprobate mind.

Sue's Pen2PaperBlog

Ginsburg Roe v Wade

Supreme Court Justice Ginsburg Favors Decriminalizing Pedophilia and Child Sex Trafficking

DR. EOWYN FEBRUARY 9, 2017 FEATURED ARTICLES, U.S. NEWS, WATCHMEN ON THE WALL 0 COMMENTS

The legal definition of “age of consent” is:

Age of consent refers to the legally defined age at which a person is no longer required to obtain parental consent to get married. It also refers to the age at which a person is held to have the capacity to voluntarily agree to sexual intercourse. Sexual intercourse with a person under the age of consent may lead to criminal charges of statutory rape or sexual assault . . . .

Statutory rape is sex between an adult and a minor below the age of consent. Every state has a statutory rape law in some form. The age of consent varies from state to state, but is generally from 16 – 18…

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Above All, Trust Him

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the grizzle grist mill

proverbs-3-5-6-2TRUST

For so many, this can be a scary word. This simple word can be bring up memories filled with disappointment, heartache and even anger and despair. This word can cause a person to scowl, cry and even turn away. Why does this word cause such trepidation?

I’m not sure I can speak for every soul that might read this, but I can definitely answer for myself… Trust can be the one thing that, when placed in a human being, can be built up like a mighty tower, only to be torn down in the blink of an eye. It is the one word that,  when placed in the hands of another, can be cradled and cared for like a child or can be dashed against the rocks of life without a second thought or concern.

Trust can be placed by a loving child into the neglectful grasp of an adult, and that adult can…

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Fighting Demons

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ANNA WALDHERR A Voice Reclaimed, Surviving Child Abuse

Pittsburgh Steelers v. New England Patriots (2005) (CC BY-SA 3.0 Gen) Pittsburgh Steelers v. New England Patriots at Heinz Field (2005), Author Bernard Gagnon (CC BY-SA 3.0 Unported)

Fighting the demons of anxiety, depression, and PTSD is a little like playing football [1][2].  We make headway then lose ground.  But the fight never really ends, not the way a game of football does.  There is no score.

We win by surviving another day.

Across Decades

It can be enormously discouraging to wrestle with the scars of abuse, decade in and decade out.  Surely, we must after all this time have made progress.

But progress is not linear.  Despite the passage of time, and an extensive list of medications – not to mention therapy – familiar demons can resurface.

Factors Impacting Our Success

So, are anxiety, depression, and PTSD ever really “conquered”?  Can they, at least, be fought to a standstill?  The answer depends.

The factors include the length and severity of…

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