Once upon a time a little girl was born into a family that wasn’t rich and wasn’t exactly poor. I suppose they would fall into the “middle class” category of society. They lived in the country and those who knew them thought all was well. But it wasn’t. It was a family filled with deep dysfunction.
As the little girl grew, her hurt and pain grew with her. She was being abused; physically, emotionally, sexually, and psychologically from a very early age. She had no hope, no dreams, and saw no way out. She put on a brave front but inside she was empty, lonely, and angry. Very angry!
One day her neighbor asked her to church so the little girl went so as to escape the misery at home. The preacher spoke of how Jesus saves us. Hope filled the little girls heart and she ran forward and asked Jesus to save her. When she got home she waited and watched. Any sound and she’d run to the window to see if Jesus had shown up to save her from the torture she lived in. She expected the knock on the door any day.
But no knock came. As the days passed she felt hurt and confused, then angry, then bitterness set in. As a young teen her hell continued at home with added pain piling up. She was gang raped then learned she was pregnant. The child was snatched from her womb and placed in the arms of a stranger without her ever seeing her child. Her bitterness grew and any who spoke of God would meet with her wrath.
Her rage and angry roots grew so deep no one could get through. The door was slammed shut to anything pertaining to a loving God. Her pain continued to dig deeper and deeper. She attempted suicide a couple of times but to no avail. God wouldn’t even let her die!
She married in her late twenties and thought all would be okay now. Only it wasn’t.
Her new husband beat her. He stayed out all night and brought women to their bed when she was out of town. He drank and lived in the bars. He got mixed up with the wrong crowd and finally was looking down the wrong end of a gun being held by a killer. Her pain deepened but life must go on.
Where was God? She didn’t ask. She figured He could care less. As far as she was concerned she didn’t exist in God’s eyes. If He doesn’t care, why should she?
Once again single she figured single life was okay. She dated, she worked, she had a good time, too. The mask she wore covered her wounded heart.
Four years later she met another man. A man totally opposite of her abusive husband. A Christian man. He didn’t belittle her. He didn’t hit her or call her ugly names. He didn’t drink or chase women. He supported her and loved her. He didn’t preach to her, somehow knew better. He didn’t talk about love. He showed her what love is and gradually she was able to toy with the idea that maybe God brought this loving man into her life. She trusted her husband and loved him more than anything she’d ever known.
But bad things happen.
She retired. He retired. They traveled and enjoyed doing the things they had dreamed about doing some day. But all those dreams were never met. He got sick. Five years of fighting his illness and living in hospitals brought her new pain. At least now she was talking to God. Lashing out would be more like it. “If You are real You are going to have to prove it to me!” she screamed silently.
Soon after she buried her husband she found herself standing in front of a pastor asking Jesus to be her Savior. She wasn’t sure how she got there, or really why she was there, but after that things began changing in her life. Changing drastically! Jesus was now her Counselor and the wounds of the past were being confronted and healed. Her life was being transformed a step at a time.
Her phone rang one morning. She slowly walked toward the kitchen to answer it. While reaching for the phone the Lord spoke softly, “I’m giving back to you what was taken away.” She heard her long-lost child’s voice for the first time in thirty-six years.
God wasn’t through proving He’s real.
He used her to help others with similar pain from their pasts. He taught her to trust Him. He took her to places she had never been, not just physical locations, but emotional and spiritual places. He’s given her dreams and visions and warnings and encouragement to give to others. He’s used this once hurt and angry little girl in ways that continues to amaze her even today.
Long ago she gave up on Him – but He never gave up on her!
He uses her today to tell those that do not believe or accept Him, that He is real. He wants them to know He cares. He wants them to know they’ll never be alone if they will only accept Him. He wants them to know that He will transform their lives if they’ll just place their trust in Him.
I know, because I was that little girl.
God proved He is real and continues to prove it to me every day. He is my life, my healing, my hope, my Redeemer. He is my all. I pray He will become yours, and that if you haven’t already, you will ask the Lord to forgive you of your sins and come into your heart and transform your life.
“If you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.” Roman 10:9
Feel free to e-mail me if you have confidential questions or comments at: firstname.lastname@example.org
Blessings to you.