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Monthly Archives: November 2014

Are we Christians gutless wonders?

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I have been reading a book that has stopped me in my tracks as different issues are being brought out. It has practically caused me headaches in that it has made me think so hard about what we as Christians have allowed to take place in our society.

Even though the book is a novel, parts are backed up with scripture, it has touched on areas that cause me to suck in my breath, stop reading, and meditate on. There are some areas that we as Christians have not only allowed to happen but continue to allow and to grow. It makes me think of the years when I was growing up. How it was so much more simple than what we adults face today and what our children face and will face in the future.

As Christians we are supposed to be Christ followers. Not “religious,” not “pew warmers,”…

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A New Christmas Song

Profile of a pedophile

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  “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” John 10:10

What is a pedophile? It is someone who desires sex with children. In my opinion they are mentally sick, demented, and controlled by Satan. Satan uses them in the most perverse ways he can which allows families and individuals to be destroyed emotionally, at times physically, and the victims spirit is shattered.

Statistics show the majority of pedophiles are male but women are  not left out and neither are teenagers. Think about the news casts we’ve seen where a female teacher has been having sex with her students. Think about the young men who trick younger children to meet them “out behind the building.”  These are people who are dangerous and have one agenda, sex with a child.

They can be someone you love, a relative. My Dad was one. His victims numbered six, that we know of. They can be a grandfather, uncle, brother, and yes maybe even your wife or son or a preacher, teacher, coach, or neighbor. In other words, it can be anyone.

Pedophiles have a pattern, an M.O. if you want to call it that. There are behaviors and attitudes that we can look for to help us protect our children. In Charles Montaldo, a crime expert, article, “Profile of a Pedophile” (May 16, 2014) he outlines some of what we can look for.

Young children are not the only victims they target. Some pedophiles “prefer their victims to be close to the age of puberty.” So our teenagers are not safe due to their age. Male and females are potential targets.

Pedophiles will find jobs or volunteer where they are around children. It can be a youth group at church, a playground down the street, little league, swim team. Groups are not the only target area for prospects. They seek out individuals in a variety of ways.

They look for children that are “shy, withdrawn,” and yes, even “handicapped.” “Many victims are from troubled homes and the underprivileged.” Single parents are a prime target. They will get close to the single parent ingratiating themselves into the family  so as to be close to their potential victim. What better way to have your victim close than to live in the same house or across the street? The internet is a prime source of locating and grooming the pedophiles victims. He can be anything the child wants him to be without ever showing his true colors – until its to late.

The pedophile is very skilled in his/her manipulation and “grooming.” Many children have low self-esteem and the pedophile will play on that by becoming friendly and telling the victim how special they are. Children with low self-esteem are not the only ones the pedophile will woo. Giggling girls playing on a chat site can suddenly find themselves being wooed by a pedophile, sucked into the vice of, “he seems so nice.” “There’s no harm in just talking.” The child has just stepped into the pedophiles web of deception.

Part of the grooming process is offering “love,” “support,” filling the needs of the child that seem obvious to the pedophile. They may offer drugs, alcohol, or show the child pornographic pictures all under the guise of, ” it’s okay,”  “it’s healthy and normal.” and “this is preparing you for marriage.”

The pedophile will also use guilt as a means to get to the child. “If you are really my friend you’ll ….” or “I thought you loved me!” The pedophile will use any language or means available to achieve the goal – sex with a child!

Parents be aware! We don’t have to be paranoid but we have to be cautious! We’re warned constantly about watching what our children are doing on the computer. It can become a “yeah, yeah, yeah” but its there for a very good reason. If someone is wanting to be around your child more than normal, volunteering to babysit and almost insisting, take your child camping, rides home from school or a friends more than occasionally, hugging more than appropriate, touching or “sly” looks, be on the alert. If your child suddenly doesn’t want to be around a friend or relative they previously had a relationship with ask why. Mom’s have a God given sensitivity – follow that gut feeling that something isn’t right in the relationship this person has with your child. If it means losing a relationship with a relative or friend – caution is the best antidote. Your child comes first!

   “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” John 10:10

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Blessings to you.

In the Night

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Out of the darkness of the night,

Out of the dreams that give us fright.

We cried for help to find the light,

From those we love who come at night.

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We were but children in the night,

Trusting love to make things right.

But love did not take away the fear,

Instead it came far to near.

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Why did you touch me like you did,

Why did you make me feel so weird.

They always say their love is true,

And love is what they want from you.

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They should have helped you in the night,

Instead of that, they gave you fright.

When love is fear, and fear is love,

How do we learn to trust in love.

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We turn to God for love that’s right,

To take away the fear at night.

Written by Brenda – Angels by Grace – Aug. 1994

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Blessings to you.

A Testimony- Let Me Tell You A Story

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After several years of depressive states, thoughts of suicide, a self image that was barely floor level, and a feeling of being totally and completely alone with years of going in and out of therapy I was sent into an abyss so dark and deep I thought I would never see the light of day ever again.

Then, what I thought was the worst happened. I was diagnosed as a multiple personality. In layman terms, I had all these “Little people” running around inside my brain. I was nuts! Or thought I was. Because so little was known about Multiples I began to devour any information I could about my disorder. I tried to prove my therapist wrong. I tried to deny it within myself. I was wrong on both counts. Everything fit! And when the “others” began to speak through me, out my mouth, I could no longer deny the truth.

The memories from the past poured forth. The horrors of a life time could not be denied, particularly when my abuser admitted it was all true. Believe me this was not an easy trip to take. I was not a Christian. I wasn’t even sure there was a God. If there was, He sure didn’t like me. At least I didn’t think so.

Then, as though I didn’t have enough to handle with all these “others.” My husband passed away. Now I knew God didn’t like me! Wrong again. I found myself before a Minister. God had just picked me up and plunked me down before His alter. I didn’t know why I was there or what was going on. But I found myself accepting Christ into my life. I was at the bottom. I was not only broken but I had nothing to live for. A dead husband and when I had started asking my family questions about my past some got rather hostile because I was exposing the abuse. I felt my only road was straight to hell with a gun at my head. (I’m very serious.)

God had other plans for me, unbeknownst to me. Within days after I was saved Christ began to reveal what really happened that caused me to be Multiple. What His truths were about it.  It not only explained the unanswered questions but shed light on why things happened. He did this over a period of time.

Over the past year my life has taken a complete turn for the better. Before, all I could think of was how I wanted to die, to be rid of these voices coming out of my mouth, how I wanted to be with the only person I felt ever loved me and now was dead. I wanted to be dead! Christ said, “NO!” He said the old me would die, but I would be healed of those wounds and made new.

I am new! I have a whole new life and that’s certainly new for me. I study and try to learn what God has been trying to get through my thick head for years, as I walked away. His path will lead you in directions that only He knows where. If you listen – If you pay attention – If you are obedient to what He tells you – If you pray from your heart and soul……………. YOU WILL BE HEALED. I was multiple and now I’m not.

Christ’s miracles are there if you ask Him. This is my true, short version, story.

Name withheld by request. – Angels by Grace – Nov. 1994

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If you have confidential comments/questions feel free to e-mail me at: elah501c@bellsouth.net

http://www.elahministries.com   http://www.suespen2paper.com

http://www.facebook.com/elahministries   elah501c@bellsouth.net

Blessings to you.

 

God works even behind the scenes

Sue's Pen 2 Paper Blog

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Blessings to you.

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HE LIFTS US UP: Demonic Strongholds

Strongholds keep us from knowing fully the will of God. They can be broken through the blood of Christ.

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Many of us fight battles of abuse or illness everyday and can’t seem to overcome these problems. Sometimes we need to take a look at what may be causing our continued problems in certain areas. Are you having problems with anger, lust, unforgiveness, bitterness or many of the other issues that many deal with? Think about where our difficulties may be coming from. It’s not from God.

Demonic strongholds…
was the word that I heard.
But so many don’t believe…
and think that it’s absurd.
How can a battle be fought…
that we can’t even see.
How can these struggles occur…
when we think we’re already free.

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Dealing with Betrayal

Sue's Pen 2 Paper Blog

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Betrayal can come in many and  various forms. It can be as simple, if you want to call it simple, as someone betraying your trust through telling another what you thought was told in confidence. There is the betrayal within marriages through adulterous behavior. Betrayal can come through domestic abuse. Maybe someone at your job betrayed you by lying to the boss. There’s many examples of how we are betrayed.

In my opinion (and many psychiatrists) the most damaging, deep, and most heartfelt betrayal is through a parent sexually abusing their child. From within the womb we are totally and completely dependent upon our mothers and fathers. Upon birth that dependence grows even more for the child. The child depends on the parents for nurturing, education, love for God, not to mention clothing, food, and housing. God instilled in us love. We are created to love and we do it…

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Trust and Believe

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Trust and believe, my gentle friend

In all you say and do, 

For Christ will take you by the hand

And He will see you through. 

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Trust and believe, my gentle friend

No matter what’s in store;

The Lord will be there at your side,

As He’s always been before.

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Trust and believe, my gentle friend,

With all your heart and soul –

The Master will take care of you,

And help you reach your goal.

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Trust and believe, my gentle friend,

Reach out to heaven above,

And God will smile down on you,

And touch you with His love!

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Written by Hope C. Oberhelman – Angels by Grace – June 1998

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Blessings to you.

False Memory Syndrome

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Many of us grew up in homes where Satan’s influences were more prevalent than Christ’s. All forms of abuse took place and for those who have experienced abuse, particularly sexual abuse, coping mechanisms and defense mechanisms can take place within the victim.

In the case of sexual abuse the victim can repress those memories so deeply that as an adult she/he may “forget” the abuse occurred. But it isn’t that easy because our brains don’t forget. Like a computer, even though we delete something, it’s still hidden somewhere in the hard drive. It will come up at sometime with the right buttons pushed!

The victim may eventually go for counseling for depression or anger issues or any number of reasons. One in particular is feelings that “something happened” or flash backs of abuse begin to occur. Others may know they were abused but can’t recall everything and the family members deny vehemently that nothing happened and “you’re making it up.” Which places the victim in a dilemma of “am I making this up or did it really happen?”

In my case I had to sit down and think back over the years I could remember. Yes, I had definite memories of places, approximate ages, and was having dreams that brought out a few incidents,  plus the fact that a sister was also abused even though my mother was denying that I was abused. I went through the stages of “he wouldn’t do that, it didn’t happen, I have to be making this up.” Yet I couldn’t deny that what memories I had were in fact real and not just figments of my imagination.

There are some guidelines that I found useful in discerning the truth.

1. Who brought up sexual abuse in the therapy session?  Did you tell the counselor you had vague memories of abuse? Or did you seek counseling for some problem area and found the counselor “suggesting” sexual abuse as an answer? If your heart reveals thoughts, memories, inklings of an abusive background, follow your heart. I found that when a memory surfaced, it felt right, or it felt wrong. It explained a dream I never understood or a vague inkling of something I couldn’t pin down. If your counselor insists you were abused and that just doesn’t resonate with your heart, mind, and soul, pray about it. God will show you the truth. Consider seeking another counselor if this one continues to insist on abuse.

2. Think back over the early years. Has someone else in your family talked about, or hinted at abuse directed at them. Did a sister reveal that “Daddy was hurting her.?” Is there a tangible friction between your mother and you that you can’t explain as normal friction? In my case there seemed to be a “wall” between my mother and I that I didn’t understand. I know now it was because she knew of the abuse and turned a blind eye to it. Even though I had buried the memories somewhere in my brain I knew she knew. I’m not suggesting that if you and Mom don’t see eye to eye that you were abused and she knew and did nothing to protect you. I’m suggesting you seek God’s truth and He will reveal the reasons why you and Mom don’t see eye to eye. Unforgiveness for other hurts can be a reason. Another indicator can be that you don’t want to be alone with a particular person, especially someone you trusted, find out why.

3. Confrontation isn’t a good idea until you are absolutely certain of abuse. If through therapy exact memories of places and events have been revealed by you, not a therapist telling you they took place even though you don’t recall them, then and only then is confrontation a possibility. That is up to you. Don’t expect an apology or even confirmation of the abuse and do it only with the Lord’s guidance.

It is very difficult to admit that someone we trusted and loved has betrayed that trust and love. As adults we waiver between admitting the truth to ourselves and others. When we have come to face the horrors of the past it’s still very difficult to seek counseling or tell others of the abuse. To have to face the truth about the past destroys the image we have put in place of a “happy home”  or  “I had wonderful parents.” It is having to face betrayal of the worst kind and that isn’t easy.

False Memory Syndrome is very dangerous to those of us who lived, survived, real – not imagined -sexual abuse. Ask Christ to reveal His truths and you will know within your heart, Is this false? Is this truth? Don’t allow others to convince you it did not happen when in reality it did. And, don’t allow a counselor, or anyone, to convince you it did happen when in reality it did not. Lives can be destroyed by a false memory.

My Dad finally admitted what he did yet my mother was still in denial right up to her death.

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If you have confidential comments or questions feel free to e-mail me at: elah501c@bellsouth.net

http://www.elahministriesinc.com

http://www.suespen2paper.com

http://www.awriterscorner.blog

http://www.facebook.com/elahministries

elah501c@bellsouth.net

Blessings to you.