Beliefs can be verbally taught or non-verbally taught. As children we believe what adults communicate to us. They are “big people and they know!” So is it any wonder that we, as adults, may still have some of those false beliefs that were communicated to us through an abusive childhood? I know of no-one who has been abused that were not told, in some fashion, that it was their fault. It doesn’t matter if you were an infant or a teen, the abuser always blames the victim! It is because of these false beliefs that we speak, respond, and behave in certain ways.
“You need to realize where your emotions and actions come from. Jesus said, Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh. (Matt. 12:34, KJV). In other words, our communication (which reveals our thoughts, emotions, and the intent of our actions) comes from our hearts (our belief system). Because every situation in our lives is interpreted by what we believe, our belief system, not the situation, is the key to our response!” *
We need to be able to identify those false beliefs, reject them, and replace them with God’s truth. Ask the Holy Spirit to help you and ask Him to reveal to you where that belief originated.
Circle the false beliefs listed that you feel reflect your thinking. Write in what God says about that. Add any more at the bottom that you feel are not on the list. **
1. Example – I was a bad child. – Truth: I am God’s child. He doesn’t make “bad kids.”
2. The abuse was my fault.
3. Since the abuse was my fault, I deserve the punishment.
4. I don’t measure up.
5. I am a failure.
6. I am not good enough.
7. I must not fail.
8. Trusting people is dangerous.
9. I must not get to close to people.
10. Feelings are bad.
11. I must not show my feelings.
12. People are no good.
13. I am no good.
14. Everything wrong in my life is their fault.
15. If I make myself sexually unappealing I can avoid other abuse.
16. Sexual contact is the only way to get my needs met.
17. My body is disgusting.
18. I hate my body.
19. I can’t be without him, no one will ever need me as much.
20. I must protect everyone – mother, father, family, etc.
21. Sex makes no sense.
22. – 25
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* The Complete Search for Significance – Robert S. McGee -Page 413
** Search for Significance workbook – Robert S. McGee
NOTE: Praise the Lord! The assignment from the post, “Held in Bondage by being silent” has produced some rewarding breakthroughs. Two abusers have been confronted through the letters written (not sent) and the survivors was able to forgive. These assignments will help if they are completed. All praise, honor, and glory goes to the Lord.
Blessings to you.