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Monthly Archives: August 2014

My Savior meets me there

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When all my strength has faltered

And I’m cast down in defeat

When I can no longer carry

The weight of guilt and self-defeat.

When all the dreams I’ve cherished

Are in a heap of despair

And all the hopes I’ve believed in

Amount only to despair,

My Savior meets me there.

For His strength is perfect

When mine comes to an end

He cleans the ugly wounds of sin

And then my heart He starts to mend.

I can’t always hear His voice

Nor with my vision see

But I know He’s always with me

Because He said He’d be.

So I trust Christ with my brokenness

Kneeling on my knees

And I find that I am lifted there

And the chains are broken free.

Then I can face the enemy

And say “All you have are lies”

And know the lies cannot destroy me

Because the Truth is on my side.

~~~~~

By R.M.L. Angels by Grace April 1996

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elah501c@bellsouth.net

Blessings to you.

Sexual abuse & false beliefs

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Beliefs can be verbally taught or non-verbally taught.  As children we believe what adults communicate to us. They are “big people and they know!” So is it any wonder that we, as adults, may still have some of those false beliefs that were communicated to us through an abusive childhood? I know of no-one who has been abused that were not told, in some fashion, that it was their fault. It doesn’t matter if you were an infant or a teen, the abuser always blames the victim! It is because of these false beliefs that we speak, respond, and behave in certain ways.

“You need to realize where your emotions and actions come from. Jesus said, Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh. (Matt. 12:34, KJV). In other words, our communication (which reveals our thoughts, emotions, and the intent of our actions) comes from our hearts (our belief system). Because every situation in our lives is interpreted by what we believe, our belief system, not the situation, is the key to our response!” *

We need to be able to identify those false beliefs, reject them, and replace them with God’s truth.  Ask the Holy Spirit to help you and ask Him to reveal to you where that belief originated.

Assignment:

Circle the false beliefs listed that you feel reflect your thinking. Write in what God says about that.  Add any more at the bottom that you feel are not on the list. **

1. Example – I was a bad child. – Truth: I am God’s child. He doesn’t make “bad kids.”

2. The abuse was my fault.

3. Since the abuse was my fault, I deserve the punishment.

4. I don’t measure up.

5. I am a failure.

6. I am not good enough.

7. I must not fail.

8. Trusting people is dangerous.

9. I must not get to close to people.

10. Feelings are bad.

11. I must not show my feelings.

12. People are no good.

13. I am no good.

14. Everything wrong in my life is their fault.

15. If I make myself sexually unappealing I can avoid other abuse.

16. Sexual contact is the only way to get my needs met.

17. My body is disgusting.

18. I hate my body.

19. I can’t be without him, no one will ever need me as much.

20. I must protect everyone – mother, father, family, etc.

21. Sex makes no sense.

22. – 25

~~~~~

If you have confidential questions/comments feel free to e-mail me at: elah501c@bellsouth.net

Suggested reading:

Available at Amazon.comProduct Details

 

* The Complete Search for Significance – Robert S. McGee -Page 413

** Search for Significance workbook –  Robert S. McGee

 

NOTE: Praise the Lord! The assignment from the post, “Held in Bondage by being silent” has produced some rewarding breakthroughs. Two abusers have been confronted through the letters written (not sent) and the survivors was able to forgive. These assignments will help if they are completed. All praise, honor, and glory goes to the Lord.

 

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Blessings to you.

Dispelling stinkin’ thinking

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Our thinking          

                       His promise

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It’s impossible.

All things are possible. (Luke 18:27)

I’m too tired.

       I will give you rest. (Matt. 11:28-30)

Nobody really loves me.

       I love you. (John 3:16)

I can’t go on.

       My grace is sufficient. (2Cor. 12:9)

I can’t figure things out.

      I will direct your steps. (Prov. 20:24)

I can’t do it.

      You can do all things. (Phil.4:13)

I’m not able.

      I am able. ( 2Cor.9:8)

It’s not worth it.

      It will be worth it. (Rom. 8:28)

I can’t forgive myself.

      I forgive you. (John 1:3) (Rom. 8:1)

I can’t manage.

      I will supply all your need. (Phil 4:19)

I’m afraid.

      I have not given you a spirit of fear. (2Tim. 1:7)

I’m always worried and frustrated.

      Cast all your care on Me. (1Pet.5:7)

I haven’t enough faith.

       I’ve given everyone a measure of faith. (Rom. 12:8)

I’m not smart enough.

      I give you wisdom. (1Cor. 1:30)

I feel so alone.

      I will never leave you or forsake you. (Heb.13:5)

~~~~~

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elah501c@bellsouth.net

Blessings to you.

 

We Can Overcome!

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Healing doesn’t mean

the damage never

existed.

It means the 

damage no longer

controls our lives. 

“And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.” Ro. 12:2

 

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Blessings to you.

Held in bondage by being silent

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So many times we do not have the opportunity to tell someone that we love them, we forgive them for all the hurt they have caused us or what we’re going through.  We have thoughts that we’ve never put into words. Regardless of whether they hear us or not we still have an opportunity to say the things we want to say.

When my husband was sick and dying I had every opportunity to tell him those things that I felt in my heart, and I did. In my post, “Confronting your abuser” I tell how I was given the opportunity to confront my Dad about the years of abuse he inflicted upon me. But what if we can’t tell the person, our abuser, what we would really like to say? The hurt and anger, the consequences from their actions, the sorrow that they have caused. What if they don’t care what we think? What if they’re thousands of miles away on a desert island with no means of contact or dead? What if we’re just afraid to say the things that we always wanted to say?

My first husband was a wife beater, an alcoholic, and a womanizer. When he was killed (I didn’t do it) I went back to the grave yard alone and sat looking at his tombstone. I cried, I screamed, I laughed, and I told him all the ways he had hurt me. I don’t remember how long I sat there pouring out everything I ever wanted to say to him. I loved you and you hurt me. I went with a heavy heart and even though he couldn’t hear me I left feeling free of all those feelings that had been bent up inside. I walked away feeling like I was walking on a cloud. The burdens of my heart was left behind as I drove away.

All of us have unspoken words to our abuser/s. Maybe we have lashed out at one time or another and they received it with a deaf ear. Maybe we’ve just had it all bottled up inside because “it wouldn’t do any good to say it.” Those unspoken words keep us in emotional bondage to the one who hurt us. We are still locked together with that person just as if we have handcuffs locked about our wrist.

Jesus does not want us bound to evil. He came that we may have life more abundant and that means free from not only the many issues that we grapple with from the abuse but the emotional ties of not being able to voice the hurt, anger, and pain we feel. Christ has the key to those handcuffs. Will you take it?

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Assignment: One of the most important assignments I’ll give.

Sit down with pen and paper and write a letter to your abuser. It will not be sent! You are the only one who will read it, if that is your choice. Pour your heart out! Hold nothing back! This isn’t a sweet, “I don’t want to hurt your feelings but…” kind of letter. This is pouring out the hurt, the betrayal, the rage you feel, whatever it is you want to say.

The last three words of your letter should be, “I forgive you.” I know that’s a tall order, but Christ forgives us and we don’t deserve it either. If you can’t end your letter with those words, it’s okay. For now.

Freedom is yours if you’ll take the time to do this exercise.  If you have more than one abuser I suggest picking the one whom you feel hurt you the most, (if that’s possible) then when you’ve felt that freedom go back at another time and write to another, then another and do it until you have been set free from each. This is a safe means of letting out the anger, hurt, etc.

Let us know how you feel after writing the letter. It can be encouragement to the others in the group.

 

If you have confidential questions/comments feel free to e-mail me at: elah501c@bellsouth.net

~~~~~

“He whom the Son sets free is free indeed!” John 8:36

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Blessings to you.

 

 

Victory is ours

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“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” Phil 4:13

 

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Blessings to you.

 

A Poem of Truth

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For those who have been forsaken

Know that the love was never real

The trust that you put in that person

was trust that Satan came to steal.

Don’t ever think that God has left you

He promised that He’d never do,

but the devil is a liar and

he has his angels, too.

The devil is a liar

But his lies are well disguised,

You’ll find them hidden in shadows of hope

when you’re in your darkest night.

Lies from demons will embrace you

to make the truth seem dim

But God’s angels will protect you

if you keep your trust in Him.

The lies of demons may present to you

a face of loving care,

but when you need them most

they’ll leave you lost and in despair.

Yes, the devil has his angels, too

but they’re out numbered two to one

so as you fight your battles still

know that the war’s already won.

Jesus came and died and rose again

and though the devil may cheat and steal,

you can know God’s love through His own Son

and depend on that love to be real.

by R.M.L. – Angels by Grace- May 1995

http://www.elahministries.com

http://www.suespen2paper.com

http://www.facebook.com/elahministries

Blessings to you.