Girls are not the only ones who fall victim to the evil of sexual abuse. It is true that statistics show that more females are sexually abused than males. According to many of the statistics I researched it is said that 1 in 3 girls are sexually abused by the time they are 16 years old. Those same statistics report 1 in 6 boys are sexually abused by the time they are 16 years old.
According to RAIN, (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network) “10% of children in the United States have been sexually abused.” I must note here that these statistical numbers are taken from KNOWN sexual abuse reports. Thousands of children never report the abuse. Boys are much less likely to report the abuse than girls.
Males have the same issues of guilt, shame, low self-esteem, self-loathing, hatred, deep depression, and anger as the females but they also have some added issues that females do not grapple with. Masculinity for one. “Be a man!” “Men don’t cry.” Concerns about sexual orientation add to the mix, isolation is prevalent due to a belief that “men are immune to sexual assault.”
RAIN reports that for both men and women of sexual assault, (childhood sexual abuse is sexual assault!) that they will be:
3 times more likely to suffer from depression.
6 times more likely to suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder.
13 times more likely to abuse alcohol.
26 times more likely to abuse drugs.
4 times more likely to contemplate suicide.
Our hearts tend to cry for the young innocent girls but when a boy reports he’s been abused he is more likely to not be believed. Our society grapples with a boys violation as not being sexual abuse. Praise God more children are reporting the abuse and more awareness is being made but until a child is believed, regardless of male or female, the statistics won’t change.
As with girls, boys will also blame themselves for the abuse. Boys may have even more confusion due to the unwanted physical response during the abuse. This response (arousal) is absolutely no indication that the abuse is wanted or liked! Distrust is a big issue for both sexes to overcome, as well as problems with intimacy, anxiety, fearfulness, sleep problems, feelings of worthlessness, depression, and maintaining the silence. These are common to both sexes.
Childhood sexual abuse has so many deep and complicated emotional issues to battle with that the suicide rate is staggering. According to the American Association of Suicidology in their 2013 report, “Globally, 18% of females and 7.6% of males committed suicide. One third of these children were under the age of 12.”
Shame and guilt are prevalent reasons why adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse do not seek counseling. Women tend to seek counseling more frequently than men. Men, if they seek counseling, usually do so for depression or anxiety, or, or. They rarely seek it for help with the abuse issues. Until the underlying issues/core issues are addressed guys, freedom from the issues brought about from the abuse is hindered. You can’t fix what isn’t revealed.
Let me emphasize here, You did not want it! You did not ask for it! You are not to blame! A very sick and perverted person did this to you! God knows your pain and wants to heal you. God did not create you to be abused; physically, emotionally, or sexually!
Watch this 27 minute video. (Everyone should watch this video. VERY informative.)
Men – In what ways did this video help you? Writing those thoughts in your journal can help bring greater clarity.
Women – what revelations about male abuse did you learn? Can you relate? How did you feel about what you learned? Journal about it.
“There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit.” Ro. 8:1
Suggested reading: A book for men survivor’s, also beneficial to women.
Available at amazon.com
Suggested reading: “Building Walls” – http://www.suespen2paper.com
If you have confidential questions/comments feel free to e-mail me at: firstname.lastname@example.org
Blessings to you and I hope to see you next week.